Open Letter To My Neighbors

Dear Neighbor:

Let me be the first to welcome you to the neighborhood. As you may have noticed we have rather thick walls, which will keep you from hearing many sounds in my apartment. The only sounds that really seem to travel through our walls are nailing. And I have noticed that you seem to like to nail things in the kitchen every Sunday afternoon, late Saturday nights, and the occasional Friday afternoon. I have also noticed the exuberance with which you nail things. The energy you put into the nailing shakes right through the kitchen wall sometimes! And the cheering- wow! Judging by the cheers that erupt climactically from your side of the wall, you must be really good at the nailing. Do you do it professionally?

I was wondering if in the name of good neighborly relations you could warn me before you nail anything else in the kitchen. Just last week when it sounded like you were using a jackhammer on the counter and your cheerleader was really excited, some of the glasses in my cabinet actually fell and broke. Since I have a rather limited supply of glasses I'd appreciate being warned before any more makeouts, I mean makeovers, occur in the kitchen.

If I ever decide to nail someone, I mean something, in the kitchen, I'll be sure to return the favor.

Thanks,
Me