what doesn't kill us makes us hungrier

I am convinced that sometimes karma intentionally kicks you while you are down. Right now I'm in this ridiculous financial pinch and now my check engine light has turned on. I was praying the whole way home from the park yesterday with the 2 little girls in the car that I wouldn't break down on the side of the road. The sting of the tire blow out on Saturday has me fearing another break down. Where I will get money for a car repair is beyond me.

In this situation it is hard not to be angry at the woman I can so easily blame for all of this. But why waste my time worrying and being angry over things I cannot control?

And therefore I force myself to look on the sunny side and accept the opportunities this situation is giving me. Last night I came to the realization (and not yet acceptation) that I can now follow the path to a dream I have always had. I have always wanted to work part-time and give myself the chance to spend a few months writing. The only problem with this situation is that I always had planned to have a decent-sized nest egg to get me started, and not beginning in a financial hole.

But setting out on such an adventure of freelancing and writing requires a few more amenities than I came to the situation with. Items like a desk, printer, chair, and better computer. I can get away without a better computer for a short while, but something to sit on other than the couch or my bed is pretty imperative. All things that require money to acquire. And what is the one thing I don't really have right now? Money.

Which brings me back to putting a lot of energy into not hating the person who put me into this situation. So cross your fingers for me that the check engine light will be nothing more than a need for new spark plugs. Or some other repair for less than $100. (those happen, right??)

Oh, and here's the good news report! I have been offered 2 contract part to full time positions. In theory, together the two will cover my expenses. Both are work from home (couch) jobs. There's just no indication when they will start, let alone provide an income. And I have other small freelance work to do as well.

So here's to crossing my fingers and holding my breath that this craziness will all settle down soon, and I'll be able to get my first real paycheck in nearly 2 months.