Grow a Pair

I know that patience and loyalty are good, and virtuous traits. But sometimes I just think you need to grow a pair. -- Angela, "The Office"


Yes, this is what I am telling myself today. I'm frustrated and anxious, and my patience level with my current situation is waning thin. I'm tired of job hunting. I have a daily goal to apply to 3 jobs every day. It used to be 5 jobs every day, but eventually I had applied for everything out there. So now it is three. And today was not a good day. I kid you not, there was not one new job listing in my field today. That is scary. Very scary. Normally there are several new listings across all of the different job boards around the country, and I apply for the ones I am qualified for or interested in. But there was NOTHING new out there today.

I've given up hope that two of the interviews from last week are going to call me back. Oh well. I still have more irons in the fire. And hopefully this current consulting gig will turn into something promising.

And I want nothing more than to give in and just give up hope and stop being patient. I really want to feel like I am in control of something- ANYTHING- in my life right now. But I can't. There's nothing for me to control. I can't make the companies call me. I can't make a certain person call me for a date. I can't make my past employers pay me. I can't make the lawsuits move faster. I can't do crap. And I hate it.

Have you met me? I'm a bit of a control freak!!! This is killing me!

I wish I could just "grow a pair," as Angela so eloquently puts it, and just deal. But my instincts are telling me to just curl up in a ball and cry.

UGH!