You Can't Make This Stuff Up

It has been several weeks since the last time I heard from the foster care licensing people. I've had it on my daily to do list to call them and find out what's going on for a while now. But since I have no idea who I should be calling (remember how my last communication with them was being told that i mailed my forms to the wrong person when i put all of them in the self addressed envelope they provide?), I haven't called them yet. But today they called me! Yeah! I was thrilled for about 2 seconds to hear that someone actually was looking at my file!
And yet then the following conversation took place-
Her: I'm working with the Virginia agency that is doing your out of state background check.
Me: Okay, good!
Her: Your file has been sent back to us for review because some sections were left blank.
WTF??? Not possible. No freaking way did I leave a section blank. Trust me. It was a notarized form. I know I didn't leave it blank.
Me: Wha??
Her: You didn't fill out your spouse's name, birthdate, or other background information.
Me (outloud, for real): Are you freaking kidding me?
Her (totally serious): Yes, unfortunately, you did leave those blank and we need that information to continue.
Me (incredulous doesn't begin to describe it): Oh my hell!! I'm SINGLE!!!!!
Her (laughing): Oh! That makes so much more sense! Of course you left it blank then!
Me: Why is that so hard for people to understand?
Her: Oh, well, you should have written in 'not applicable' so that we'd understand.
Me: No offense, but I have no doubt in my mind that if I had written in 'not applicable' you would be calling me right now to insist that it is applicable and mandatory.
Her (again laughing): So true. These forms really are ridiculous sometimes. I figured you were probably single, but they insisted I call to make sure. Virginia wouldn't proceed without every blank filled in.
At which point I told her about my last phone call from them where they requested documentation or proof that I am single. She laughed.
Her: Well, for what it is worth, I can see here from your paperwork that you are a good person. I'm sure you'll find a good man someday.
Me: {grrr....}


(in case anyone wonders why I don't support government run healthcare, see the above story again. you really want these people deciding what kind of medical procedures you can get?)