In the past few weeks I have been hurt or insulted personally by people who claim to be my friend more times than I can count. I choose not to let it get to me. But still, it does wear a girl down.
My life revolves around serving others. It has since the day I lost my job 6 weeks ago. From the minute I get up to the minute I go to sleep, I have been helping others for the past 6 weeks. And I wouldn't have it any other way! And yet in that time, I've been accused of "playing," and unfairly "enjoying" my unemployment. I've been completely back-stabbed by someone. I was ripped off and hurt by someone I chose to help.
I've also been generously helped in uncommon ways. I've been able to enjoy the company of my family by serving them. Someone told me it was hard to feel sorry for me on unemployment because I'm enjoying myself! I don't feel like I should have to explain my every move, and justify my every expense to the world. But I will say this, my financial situation sucks. I am living off the kindness of others. And never judge a book by its cover- or the person by only the things she shares on her blog. It is rarely a full and accurate description!
Tonight I'm particularly stressed and disheartened. Someone took advantage of my kindness, abused the situation, and now I am going to be hurt long-term for it. It breaks my heart that I was treated like this. Why would someone do this? But what can you do? Other than just deal with the consequences of another's actions?
But I can't let it get me down. There's too much to deal with, too much going on. I'm needed at the hospital to help my grandmother. (Which let me just say is an emotional and physical ordeal in and of itself.) I have to finish getting this house ready and cleaned before the movers come on Saturday to put my aunt's stuff back in. I have to keep applying for jobs. I have to pack and move a lot of my stuff out. I have to figure out what comes next- where to live, what to do, etc.
So who has time to let the critics and stupid people of the world get them down? There's too much to do!
Being unemployed doesn't equal sitting and fretting and staring at a computer all day. That's a lot of stress and a waste of time.In fact, you will more than likely find your dream job by mingling and networking and getting out there and enjoying yourself. The universe does this, I swear it does.
ReplyDeleteThose people who are judging you probably hate their jobs and wish they could have more free time, too. They aren't really punishing you, they are actually taking it out on you because it would be too painful to admit to themselves that they are in their own way and too narrow minded to get what they really want.
Don't worry about them. Go for what you want and find joy in the journey.
I like the title of this post. I wish I could feel bad about your situation. I have been unemployed a lot during my life because the discrimination that occurs when people have seizures. Be grateful for what you do have and don't complain. Your situation can easily get worse or better unexpectedly. Hang in there. You are a good person!
ReplyDeleteNo one knows the shoes you walk in except you. Sorry you're having such a hard time. Those who have treated you badly will get theirs someday. My Dad used to say, "You never want to wish anybody any bad luck, but when it happens--and it will--you just want to hope that you are around to see it." In my Dad's weird sort of way, that always made sense to me. There are consequences that people pay for being judgmental.
ReplyDeleteErin, I just want to say thank you for being there to help Grammy. I firmly believe that you are there in Rke right now for a reason, and Grammy's health might be a big part of that reason.
ReplyDeleteOh, and thanks for getting the house cleaned and ready for Mom to come back!
All the stuff I'd love to be helping with but can't because I'm too far away.
I wish people would think a little bit more and use tact before we open our mouths. It would save so much heartache, both for others and for ourselves...
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with SJ. The more networking and mingling you do, whether with family or friends or just acquaintances, the greater your chances of finding something. When a friend of mine lost his job, I think he contacted every person he had ever known. And as you well know, there are blessings that come from serving others that far exceed the benefits of a paycheck. Hang in there - you'll find something. You are bright and talented and hard working - a great combination!
ReplyDeleteI was going to say what Tami said, you're here for a reason, your Grandma. She is very lucky to have you right now.
ReplyDeleteIt sucks that someone took advantage of you. I know how difficult those situations are and how much they can hurt. I love what LaurieBee said though!
So this means we'll all get to see you at the reunion next weekend! Prepare for fun!!
Karena- I had been meaning to volunteer my services to you. But you'll understand why I won't be doing that now, right? And yes, I'm looking forward to a big day up on the mountain!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone! I appreciate your support.
Erin,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of the strange reactions you are getting. Some of the responses above are a little "interesting" as well. You are a master of networking and so the fact that anyone is telling you how to do it is amazing. Your line of work is not for the faint of heart and a lot of companies haven't figured out how to properly pay for that skill.
But, I digress.
I've dealt with A LOT of pushback (I call it) from people in my life right now - especially at work. I'm now labeling myself the "Chief Lightening Rod" instead of my more desired title of "Chief Linchpin." It is like I attract people to critize my work. The interesting thing is that the critical people are rather mediocre (see, maybe it is my communication style) and are out to undermine my efforts. That always leads me to wonder why they have time to criticize and not create.
There are many battles raging in many of our hearts. Some people don't realize that many of us don't plaster the whole truth on Facebook and blogs - just tidbits that people can handle.
And, shouldn't we all be allowed to vent with friends?
Sorry someone took advantage of you - money and all. That is harsh. There is no way to know right now who actually has and who doesn't, but I can bet we are wrong most of the time.
Anyway, thanks for your post and PLEASE be blunt if I have been "one of those people." I couldn't tell by the blog post, because I am a big girl and, well, there is no way I'd fit into small underwear.