Political Attack Ads of Roanoke, VA

It's that time of the year again where we all start hitting the mute button a little bit more often. Political attack ads are in full swing. I am a registered voter in the little city of Roanoke, VA. I am one of the most likely individuals to get out and vote.
But here we are 1 week away from election day and I have a major confession. I have no idea who I am voting for. The local candidates, who I presume to be Tom Perriello and something or other Hurt, and I think maybe Bob Goodlatte? are slinging so much mud at each other, that I have no idea who stands for what, or which party they represent.
Here's what I do know- Perriello must have deeper pockets than the other guys. (Which doesn't make me like him. It makes me who funds him.) I see his commercials at least five times more often than the other guys'. In fact, I don't know what office Goodlatte is running for. I haven't heard or seen one ad for him yet, but my uncle has a sign in his yard for him. And I think I have a bumper sticker for him somewhere.
I'm sick and tired of Pariello's ads. In spite of the fact that they are everywhere, I have yet to figure out what he stands for, except "I stand for the little man." Maybe he likes midgets? I'm really not sure. And I have only heard attack ads on Hurt, so I really don't know what he's all about.
I'm tired of the ads! I don't read the newspaper, and I don't watch the local news. However, I am very well-informed on state and local issues. So Candidates, whoever you might be, take those 30 second spots and actually educate us about what YOU stand for and believe in. Tell me which party you represent. Tell me where you REALLY came from. And please, for the love, stop using slogans like, "John Doe is for Virginians." I KNOW you are for and from Virginia! DUH! Now tell me what you plan to actually DO for Virginia!
And to the candidate who is running the ad with the old lady sitting in the dark who says, "Poppycock!" (and you know who you are), please, I implore you, stop running that ad. I'm forced to mute or change the channel every time she comes on!
And you know what, if one of the candidate's staffers just happens to be reading this, feel free to leave me a comment and let's set up a chance for you to be my guest blogger. Seriously. But there's just one condition- you can't once mention the other candidate's name.
Thanks.

PS- in my research to get the links to the candidate's names I learned that Hurt's first name is Robert, and he's running against Perriello. I also learned that Goodlatte is running for a different district. Which begs the question- who is he running against?

PPS- What I think is funny and sad is that after posting this I will likely still get more information from RoxAnne and Karena telling me who to vote for than the actual candidates themselves.

PPPS- Also, now I have to figure out if I live in the fifth district or the sixth district!