Muse-ing

I need a muse.
There, I've said it.
My life is far too boring, way too uneventful, and incredibly dull these days. Nothing but let-downs and static.
I need a muse. And inspiration.
I need something or someone that gets me motivated and creative again.
I thought for a few days I had met an interesting guy. Sadly, he quickly went from interesting to downright peculiar and odd. Including an email he sent me about cows.
Cows do not equal muse. Ever.
I'm suddenly understanding the practice of having a muse, and why artists were patrons of rich benefactors. I can't be creative sitting around at home. But take me out of the house, put me in a beautiful setting, with new, inspiring people around, and I can write anything. I can create all day long.
I need a rich, interesting, fancy person, preferably with a single, handsome manservant, to sponsor me for a while. Allow me to come live in their fancy estate by the water where I can write a book or two or five. And just flirt with their beefcake of a manservant for a few days. Nothing serious. Just something to stir the senses. A cabana boy would work too. I promise to give him back when I'm done.
Anyone have an estate by the water with a cabana boy, and Diet Dr Pepper on tap, that I could borrow for a few days? I'll even settle for a pastry chef and a lake house. Pool house and yard boy? Lake cabin and a younger brother?
Just let me know. I'm flexible. And I promise to dedicate the book to you. And the cabana boy.