Yesterday I posted a rather lengthy and unhappy post about my situation in life.
It's gone now.
Why?
Because it just wasn't me. I'm not one to let depression get me down. I'm not one to let circumstances get me down. I wrote in a moment of weakness, before I remembered my own strength. The problems are still there, but there are no longer tears for my problems.
If I suddenly have months and months to kill, and indefinite future, food in the cupboards, and a place to lay my head at night, then all is well. Worse things have happened in my life, and I am okay with that.
And so instead of wallowing in tears and self-pity, I will rise again. I'll rebuild and go forward.
Today I am focusing on my spirituality and creativity, and less on productivity and making things happen. I can't begin to tell you how good that feels!
Have you heard this song? (I'm sure you have. It is everywhere these days.) I love the words. "Happiness hit her like a train on a track. Coming towards her, stuck, still no turning back." The real video of the song actually terrifies me. But I love the song. Enjoy the Glee cover of it with me, will you?
I guess I'd better read some other posts to see what is going on, but hope you feel better. I'm learning that baby steps somehow get us to a good place though it feels oh so loooooong. Hope you have a good weekend. You have friends! (-:
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your PC plans falling through despite you doing all of your part. I hope it doesn't sound bad to say that I'm glad that you mention your sadness and even a bit of confusion about what to do next, even though I wish you didn't have to go through any of it. It just helps to see that I'm not the only one who has those feelings sometimes. I hope that you can feel peace while you search for the next steps for you. Thanks for your example!
ReplyDeleteService is an interesting beast. It does make you feel better about yourself when you do it. However, the people that you help are impacted differently. If they honestly sought your help and wanted to make a change then their lives improve. If not, they enjoyed your company for awhile and then go back to living the way that they did. Your service provided good feelings for you. It was self-serving. At least that is how I feel about my peace corps service. I wish I hadn't done it.
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