save me from myself

 

I'm at my wit's end with my upstairs neighbors. It isn't their fault, so I don't take my frustrations out on them.
I hear every little footstep they make. All of them.
I hear when they sit down.
I can tell when they step into their micro-sized kitchen (where I wish they would go more often) because I can't hear them walk in there.
I can tell when they step into their shower.
I can (I kid you not) hear them roll over in bed!
But like I said, it isn't their fault. They aren't elephants and they don't stomp around heavy-footed.
Instead, the problem (according to the landlord, maintenance, and others) is that carpeting was put down over old parquet flooring. And the flooring has now come loose from whatever goes below the parquet. The neighbors don't hear it, because it is muffled to them by the padding and carpeting.
But down here? Under all of that?
Holy hannah, you have never heard such an annoying sound. Every single step they make sounds like they are jumping on a trampoline, or possibly a pogo stick, with constants creaks and springy squeaky sounds. It reminds me of a Mickey Mouse haunted house read-along record/book I had as a kid, where the haunted house had creaky floors and doors.
If it wasn't a non-stop, never-ending, incredibly loud noise, I would find it funny. It was comical at first. But now? It makes me want to cry half the time.
From the minute they get home from work (about 30 minutes after I do) to the minute they go to bed (about an hour before I do), it's non-stop squeaks and creaks coming from the ceiling.
And don't get me started on what it is like to wake up in the middle of the night to realize it was the sound of your neighbor rolling over in bed that startled you. (And I am a very sound sleeper.)
The landlord informs me that the only thing they can do is pull up all of the flooring upstairs. Last week they had the head of all maintenance for the property company come out. He declared it a safety issue, and pointed out some cracks in my walls that were not there before.
So they don't just sound like they might fall through the ceiling, they really might actually do that if this doesn't get fixed.
However, this safety issue (not to mention my sanity) isn't a pressing issue and they are dragging their feet on getting it fixed. I do feel sorry for the neighbors upstairs who will have their lives horribly disrupted to get this fixed. But not that sorry- every single minute they are at home, my life is disrupted.
My guess is that the landlord is going to try and push this off into January to fix so as to put the expenses into the next year.
Fun sidenote- noise blocking headphones don't block out creaking footsteps. (Or other noises emanating from above.) And I can still hear them loud and clear no matter how loud I turn up my TV or radio.
Right now I am pretty sure there must be 10 people practicing on pogo sticks up there. It's the only logical explanation. Or possibly 5 people doing jumping jacks?
Funny thing- I have never, not once, heard them talking, singing, yelling, etc. I've never heard their TV either. But I know many intimate details about their lives, like what time they shower, (how much hot water they use- but that's a different rant for a different day), go to work, go to bed, and what they do in bed. These are not things you want complete [annoyed] strangers to know about you.
Because that annoyed stranger just might finally hit her breaking point and decide to retaliate.
Which brings me to my point- who wants to post my bail?