I Got Old

Can the internet handle it if I write a real blog post for a change?
I can't remember how long it has been since I wrote a real post. I even had to go look up my password again. Things are definitely different today than they were just a few years ago, aren't they?
Which is sort of what has me in a writing mood- how things are different now.
The last 6 weeks have tired me out. I feel like I've aged a decade in the past month. And when you look at all that I've done to myself in that time, it's really no wonder that I feel like that.
I've had a great deal of dental work done.
I've given blood.
I've donated platelets.
I started wearing glasses again. (And my prescription changed significantly for the first time in years.)
I started sitting on a "bouncy ball chair" while at work to improve my posture and core muscles.
I started a new home self care regime (vitamins, eating habits, etc).
I had a head cold from hell that made me the sickest I have ever experienced. And it took about 3 weeks to really recover from.
And I hiked up a mountain, in the snow, in the worst possible shoes for the occasion.
In other words, I've beat the heck out of my body! Considering all my body has been through this month, is it really so surprising I feel beat up and exhausted?
I've always been a night owl, naturally tending to stay up till 11 or 12 most nights, and still be up by 7 for work. Now that's all changed, and I'm in bed by 9 most of the time.
I got old this month. I finally went over the hill. I feel my real age.
I hope I get used to this soon. 

I'd give my left leg to not write this post

I'm sitting on the couch with my laptop burning my left leg. Why the left leg? I don't know. But that is the side of the laptop that gets hot and eventually starts to burn my leg. Thankfully this doesn't happen too often, only after I've been working on my computer for at least 12 hours.
Yes, I have been working on this thing for 12 straight hours. (No wonder I'm so hungry.)

I've resumed job hunting after a month long break. (Why a month break? Because it took less than a month for me to remember why I wanted to get a "real" job again, and then another week to talk myself into putting myself through this misery again.) Every time I have a job interview they inevitably ask, "So why do you want to leave self-employment and go back to work?"

And every time I hear that question I want to tell the truth, "Because I'm sick and tired of working 12 hour days that result in barely more than minimum wage. And it wouldn't be "going back to work." I've never had to work so hard in my life, for such a small payoff."

Days like today are why I want to "go back to work." There is one more very big reason why I am tired of self-employment- I am sick and tired of having to promote and sell myself! I would so much rather market another person or company. Marketing and selling yourself all day is just tiresome! Not to mention, a complete ego-killer. Except on the days it goes well. Then it's a big ego-boost.

But I'm not in this (this being gainful employment) for the ego-boost. I'm in it for the paycheck!

Speaking of paychecks, there is a stinkbug climbing along the ceiling over me. I can't reach it, not even with a broom. I know, I tried. And while I was up I got an ice pack to put on my left leg, under the laptop. It may be time for me to give in and buy a new computer. But to do that, I'm going to afford a new laptop, I'm going to have to several more extra projects. And that means more time burning my left leg. How much can my little left leg take?

And that people, is why I have resumed my job search.

And why you are feeling an overwhelming urge to save me a few hours of work tonight, and go buy my books- "You Heard It Here First" and the sequel "This Just In!"

Let the sunshine in

It almost seems too optimistic to say things are getting better. I've had a lot of verbal promises that I'm going to get paid, and that I can still pull off going to Cambodia. But nothing is written in stone yet. Hopefully I will have results in as little as a few hours, but maybe not yet for a few more days.
It is tiring not knowing where your life is going!
So let's think happy little thoughts, and focus on the positive, shall we?
Any minute now the phone could ring and the Peace Corps will finally be ready to place me! Really and truly- any minute now it could finally happen after a year of this process!!
In just a few hours the mailman, actually mail lady in our case, or should I say postal carrier to be politically correct? Either way, in a few hours the mailbox may finally reveal the check I have waited over 2 months for!
If you are a Facebook friend, you may have seen this in a status update. Sometime in the next week or two, a major publication will be using me in a dating contest. I have a feeling I will have to do some serious self-promotion if I want to "win" a blind date of the publication's picking. I'm sure you can't wait for details on how over 1 million people can vote on my social life. (note to self: you may be crazy)
My family is moving into a new house in just a few days. I won't be living there very long, but I am still very excited about it. As you may recall, my folks live overseas. So really, they just bought a house that I will live in alone for a while. It will be a big and empty house mostly, but what furniture in it will be surroundings I am familiar and comfortable with. After a year of living in other people's stuff, I am very happy to be in a place I can call home again! AND! My mail and I will be using the same address after being apart for over a year. This is exciting stuff I tell you.
I'm trying to get my happy and positive side back after letting doom and gloom take over for the past week. I think I'm getting there. Just a few more hours till I really know what I am up against!

I would if I could

I would do the singles week thing I wanted to do this week, but the truth is, I'm too tired tonight. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week.

For the last few weeks I've had a totally messed up schedule between going to Reno, working extra hours, watching the god-daughters, catching up on work hours, being sick with allergies, going to traffic courts, etc. But you know what tomorrow is? My first day back on my regular schedule in over 2 weeks. My cats and I are all looking very forward to that. It's not going to last for long, but I'm going to look forward to my 3 days of normal life while I can. Next week brings another trip to the courthouse, my brother moving in, getting new furniture, finally finishing the last of the foster care paperwork, a holiday, a wedding, and a trip to NYC.

Parting thoughts... Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

If you ever wonder if Big Brothers Big Sisters actually has any influence or effect on the kids they work with, I offer you the following picture.

Yes, for better or worse, I'd say I'm starting to have an influence on her. Same hair, same glasses. That's my girl!