Confessions of a Sleepwalker

I am a sleepwalker. There, I've said it. But it doesn't actually make me feel better. As a sleepwalker I have learned to take certain precautions in my lifestyle so as to prevent any unfortunate mishaps in my sleep. This includes making sure there are no writing utensils within reach of my bed when I fall asleep (because I once woke up to illegible scribble and the word "forget" all over my arm), no sharp objects (because it just seems wise), no phone (because I have been known to make phone calls in my sleep), etc. More than once I have "woken up" in the middle of the night in my own living room watching TV, or better put, staring cluelessly at the remote. I have also found myself looking into the refrigerator, standing in the shower fully clothed, and only once, in my car, still in my pajamas, feeling very confused. On the bright side, the car wasn't running.

There have been other incidents that weren't necessarily sleepwalking, but I don't know what else they could have been. There was the Great Duck Massacre of 1997 that my roommates will never forget. (No ducks were actually massacred- but only because the coat hangar I attempted to shoot at them was merely a coat hangar and not a shotgun.) Or the time at Girls Camp when I woke up put on a raincoat and got back in bed. Or the time I attempted to break into a neighbor's house in the middle of the night. (okay maybe that time really was sleepwalking) But mostly I just wake up in the morning to find something out of place, or with a sense that something is wrong. Such was the case this morning.

Last night before I went to bed I packed my briefcase, etc. for work. I am really not a morning person so I make sure everything is done before I go to bed- clothes laid out, lunch packed, briefcase at the ready. So I know everything was ready to go. But just as I was leaving this morning I quickly checked my briefcase to make sure my firewire was in the front pocket. But it wasn't. I was running late as usual, so I hurriedly ran around my room checking for it. But I couldn't find it anywhere. I gave up and went to work, hoping I wouldn't need my firewire today.

Usually when I have been sleepwalking there is a big clue, or at least a feeling that I have been wandering about unconscious. Most of the time the clue is pretty obvious such as waking up to find a shoe in my bed, or a dish randomly placed in the middle of the floor. And unlike most sleepwalkers, I generally have a "strange memory" of the experience. This morning I had none of that. I didn't think much of the missing essential. Maybe I just forgot to pack it?

Well, no luck. I got home from work and the gym tonight and sorted my laundry. And there, deep in the depths of my darks, was the firewire. How it got there I will never know. Its a firewire, it didn't just get there on its own. And there is no way it could have just accidentally fallen in there. The only plausible explanation is that I am sleepwalking again.

So after you have finished wondering what on earth I was thinking about that I would tuck a firewire deep into my laundry, please lock up your valuables and ignore any strange phone calls you may get from me in the middle of the night. Erin the Sleepwalker is back.