What They Didn't Teach You in Second Grade...

What they didn't teach you in second grade is that some day a girl will reject you for failing primary school grammar.

Case in point-
Here is an email I received today.

boy howdie!!!! you are a lot to take in I'm simple with a wild side for
life but on the down hill of it trying to be good is an adventure for me I don't
look for trouble or even the opportunity of trouble but it finds me pretty easy.
I'm a small town loving boy that has no idea what to do but just live like
there's no tomorrow with no regrets. and have FUN Ive tryed to live by the motto
just livin and Ive done good so far. so if I'm not outgoing enough adventures
enough or even cool enough which I'm probably not than that's coool

Items to Note
1. Sadly, everything he needed to know to impress me he should have learned approximately 21 years ago. (He's 29.)
2. On the list of reasons he will never hear back from me you will find, "I can't bear the burden of being the sole teacher of grammar, punctuation and syntax to our future children."
3. He misspelled "cool." How can you not know how to spell cool??
4. It is men like this that give me reason to believe I will [happily] die an old maid. I realize we aren't all destined for a Pulitzer, but still!!!!