It isn't much of a secret that I like to plan things out, flesh ideas out and have a pretty good idea of what is happening next - regardless of scenario. Particularly when it comes to my life and my personal plans I like to have a good idea of what is going to happen next. Which may or may not contradict my rather free spirit style of living, but it all works well for me.
So needless to say this whole hanging in limbo thing is killing me. Every week I sit down and apply for more jobs. I'd say on average I send out close to ten resumes a week. And I'd say I hear back from maybe 3 of those ten each week. Some jobs can be ruled out in just a matter of seconds upon hearing the salary, others get ruled out after learning about the benefits (one company offered 5 days of paid vacation and only 3 days of sick leave. i think not!), others I've just been way too overqualified for, although they paid more than I was making. And then I've met with some recruiters who sent me on some interviews that really made me question the recruiter's integrity!
So right now I'm just going crazy. I don't have enough projects to do to keep me entertained each day. It seems like every 3-4 days I'm contemplating some entirely new scenario for what my life might be like. I've looked up housing in different cities. Weighed my options with big moves. Contemplated the pros and cons of staying in the firearms industry versus starting in a new one. Not knowing what to expect in the future is killing me. Not getting to plan a summer vacation, or even know if I can go to a wedding in a few weeks, is pretty much torture.
Who are we kidding? I'm miserable. All of this limbo stuff is just awful. All of this time to just sit around and think and rethink and analyze and reanalyze is making me crazy. (as mentioned in a previous post) I have way too much time to obsess over stupid things right now. I spent an hour on hold with the DMV-- just because. Much to my surprise, my temper is at an all time high as well. It's a sign to me that I'm more stressed out than even I knew. I can't take this much more. I need a plan or something to hold on to!!
Wow! you're sending 10 resumes a week?! That's super! I think I topped out at 5.
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed, you send 10 a week and still have time for projects? you must be much more organized than I.
Keep up the good work. You'll be fine. I promise.