Monday, February 14, 2011

Singles Awareness Day (aka Valentine's Day)

"Valentine's Day is that time of year when married people pretend to be happy, and singles pretend they are not."


I have been blogging for about 7 years now. And apparently I have never once blogged about Valentine's Day before. I double checked today just to be sure. However, I did post this totally awesome picture of my brother once on a Feb 14.

Confession: I am 36 years old and I've never had a good Valentine's Day. In fact, I can only think of two times in history where I was in a committed relationship on V Day. Once was in college, and I was in more than just a committed relationship. I was actually engaged. I worked part-time in a florist that year. I spent days blowing up balloons, and tying them off till my poor little fingers were raw. Not to mention wrapping order after order of roses. I had high hopes that year for a good V Day present.
But oh no.
It was spectacularly bad. Monumentously bad.
First, my significant past other had a night class that day, and an exam. So he had conveniently forgotten about the big red candy heart holiday that was consuming campus.
Next, I sent him a teddy bear holding roses. (Forgive me, I was 19, worked in a florist, and was quite stupid.) The dorm delivery guy screwed up and delivered it to ME. My poor little expectations had gotten so high when the dorm director called and said there was a package downstairs for me. I ran down to get it, convinced it was going to be my engagement ring (we were one of THOSE BYU couples- engaged with no actual proposal or ring). And there was the stupid gift I had bought HIM! UGH! So I went back up to my dorm room, sick and exhausted. Oh yeah, on top of everything I had a massive sinus infection, and I had just worked a 12 hour day. All I wanted was my significant other to show up and wow me. Too much to ask? I think not.
I get back to my room and collapse with exhaustion. The phone rings. There's flowers at the front desk. Again I fly down the stairs to get them.
They're for my roommate. Who is out on a date with her boyfriend. The roses? Not from her boyfriend.
The scene repeats. I go upstairs, collapse, phone rings, I return down the stairs, and claim another dozen roses for her.
Its a darn good thing I loved my roommate. Otherwise, I would have hurled those flowers at her head when she came home.
Finally, 10 pm comes around. I'm pretty sure I hate both my roommate and my significant other. It doesn't matter because I'm dead asleep. That's when the Sig O calls and asks me to come out and see him.
He hands me a freaking broken sugar cookie that says "Be Mine" on it. And very nicely thanks me for the teddy bear and roses. And then says he wasn't taking his exam. He had fallen asleep in the library! Boy genius, that one.
He realizes I'm less than impressed. After all, I'm sick, exhausted, and he's just handed me a smooshed and broken sugar cookie. His suggestion to make it all better? Let's go make out. In fact, he's pretty certain that would solve everything.
I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.
Worst part? That wasn't my worst V Day ever.
I think the worst one ever goes to a different ex-boyfriend. We had been very seriously dating for several months. We broke up just a week or so before V-Day over some huge family things we just couldn't get resolved. (Namely, we wanted to get married, but his parents hated me for no known reason, other than I was alive.) I was depressed and miserable during the days we broke up.
My roommates at that time were awesome. I came home that day to find my roommates had built a fort in the living room (sheets, chairs, etc), and decorated it with candy hearts, feathers, and chocolates. We had a great girls night in our little fort, with them doing everything to cheer me up.
At 11 pm the ex-bf knocked on the door (scaring the beecheesus out of us). We hadn't seen or spoken to each other in weeks. But we sat down and had a good long talk.
We made up. My roommates conveniently disappeared, so I let him in our special girls only fort. And that's when he said the magic words.
But wait- you thought this was going to be my worst story ever, right? So how can getting back together with my bf on V-day be a bad thing? Oh just wait for it.
He told me he had wanted to get back together sooner, but he didn't want to have to get me a V-day present, so he waited as long as possible. He figured 11 pm got him out of having to buy me a present. There's nothing quite like being told he loves you, but not enough to spend 10 bucks!
I think we can all agree I dodged a bullet by not marrying either of those two gems. 
Personally, I have enjoyed the non-let-downs of all my single Valentine Days. There's nothing wrong with not getting your hopes up. There's nothing wrong with not expecting flowers to be delivered. There's nothing wrong with not caring at all about a holiday made up by Hallmark. There's nothing wrong with just being yourself, and not hanging your hopes on someone else.
Life is much easier and much better when you are in control over what makes you happy. Make your own happiness. Don't sit around waiting for someone else to make you happy.

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