Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money?

I saw this today-

And naturally it made me think of this-

And then obviously I couldn't help but think of this-

And while getting happily sucked in to the internet looking for just the right Calvin strip, I discovered this-

That would be Calvin and Susie fanfic. Yes, it exists.
And that's when I decided to get off the internet and go do something else with my life.