Accepting criticism as a chance to improve

I don't blog as much as I used to for myriad reasons. One of the most important reasons is just having learned from lessons of the past, and how expressing personal feelings about events in my own life can upset people. Or invites unwelcome feedback from people who make my feelings and thoughts about them.

But tonight I'm feeling alone with few (no?) people to talk to about some of the problems in life. So rather than talk to no one, I'll talk to everyone in the anonymous internet. (Hopefully I won't be repeating mistakes of the past.) (Ha ha.) (That was deep, sad, sarcasm.)

But let's start with some disclaimers. This isn't about you. This is about me. This is not any one person, problem, or event. It's a huge conglomeration or confluence of ALL THE THINGS!

Seriously, if it wasn't so painful or hard to deal with so many things at once, I'd laugh at how so many things could be happening at once.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's jump to the lesson learned and then back it up. Or something like that.

A few weeks ago, an old friend posted a beautiful picture of her ballerina daughter getting a private lesson. (or something to that extent) She commented how her daughter said how she liked to get feedback or pointers from the teacher "because how else could she improve?" I was just floored by this statement from such a young kid.

I've never been great at taking criticism. But ever since reading her comment I've been trying to take it to heart. If I don't get feedback how will I ever improve? This young girl just amazed me at her outlook! I could learn a lot from her.

If you believe that all things happen for a reason, you'll find it easy to believe that I needed to hear and digest and internalize that idea before the last few weeks hit me.

Because, wow. I have had lots of opportunities to apply this lately!

We're talking criticism feedback coming at me from all sides. You name it, I'm getting it. Work, church, personal life, writing life, volunteer life.

Old me would have given up and hidden under a rock by now, or lashed out and given everyone a dose of their own medicine.

But I haven't. I'm learning. I'm trying so hard to just get through, accept, and take it all as a chance to improve.

But it's not easy. Especially when it doesn't let up. I feel like I'm caught under Niagara Falls, getting beat on the rocks with criticism feedback.

I need a break. I need some personal improvement time. I'm writing this all out so I can get some of my emotions out before diving back in to handle the most recent problem. Mostly, I just feel like a huge failure in nearly every possible aspect of my life right now. (Writing is actually going pretty well. More on that some other time.)

I want to be a Millennial and beg a for a safe space around me. "Please only speak kind words in this area."

Sigh. Yeesh. And sigh again.

So tell me, Oh Anonymous Internet World, when you feel beat up, criticized, overwhelmed, let down, frustrated, and disappointed, what do you do? How do you personally handle it? I'm looking for a new way to handle everything, and not be me anymore.

I miss July already.

August always depresses me. The weather is erratic and oppressive, schedules are unpredictable, the humidity will try to kill you, and you know that at the end of the month, summer is gone, and another long, boring, cold winter is right around the corner, and all the beautiful green things are about to die.
August, you are not my friend.
July was a great month. I spent very little of it at home. I was in Europe for the bulk of it obviously, and then I spent the last 10 days in Roanoke with my nephews. But now I'm back home, facing reality in my little apartment.
Reality is confusing to me these days. I don't have a full picture on what it looks like right now. I'm very busy, but unemployed. I'm writing up a storm, and getting lots of publications, but the money just isn't coming in. I'm tour-sick and missing my tour friends who all live on the other side of the country. And yet, very happy to be home and ready to catch up with my friends that I haven't seen all month.
My mother has been getting into this new fad called "dressing your truth." I'm not too into it, because most of it seems sort of commonsense to me. But I can see how maybe it isn't that way for everyone. We've talked a lot lately about which colors, styles, and haircuts are "your truth." (And ultimately decided I already dress and style "my truth." Go me.)
But now that I'm back home and in my own little apartment, I'm thinking about whether or not my apartment reflects my "truth." I think I mentioned it last year sometime that when I moved here I had to make the sad decision to let my storage unit go. In other words, I lost all my belongings that were in it. It wasn't cost effective to fly cross country to save anything from it.
I had spent several years building up little collection and reflections of me. I had lovingly restored most of my own furniture, and took great pride in several of the pieces. My decorations were unique and unusual, vibrant, colorful, and a great reflection of the things I love and enjoy. (I had an awesome vintage movie poster collection as well as several really cool Broadway record albums.)
The most heartbreaking loss was my book collection. I had around 100 books in storage, all of which I had read and loved.
But that's all gone now.
And I'm rebuilding, slowly but surely. It's not quite the same when you live with a roommate. And it's not easy to do whilst unemployed (again).
It's giving me a lot of time to really think about what matters to me, and what I want my home to say about me. I don't like or want trendy, typical furniture, but you wouldn't know that by looking at my current home. I do like statement pieces that show or share something I love. (I have a great big picture of the DC cherry blossoms in the living room right now. And my bedroom is decorated in maps.)
And so I sit and wonder about who I really am, and have I crafted a world around me that really reflects that? Or are my surroundings simply the result of circumstances? 

eShakti Saturday

eShakti has a whole bunch of new dresses this week. That's what I love about them most- if you don't like the stock this week, give it a few days and they change over to new stuff!
I'm in love with this cute little navy, coral, and polka dot dress. It's not entirely office appropriate, but since I have a casual dress office, I can wear it if I want to. And I could definitely wear it to church. If I were the kind of girl who wears fun girly dresses just to leave the house (and sometimes I am, especially in the summer), I'd wear this all the time.

(I would give it short sleeves, make it knee length (as shown is just below knee), and keep the neckline.)

Go take a look at all their new dresses and skirts and tell me which one you want!

eShakti Saturday

A few years ago I was invited out to a girlfriend's birthday party. She made one request of her guests- that the girls all wear "little red dresses." She said that everyone should have a little red dress for parties (not just little black dresses). I didn't really take her seriously because the thought had never occurred to me to have a little red dress. But I did have a dozen little party dresses, so I went in a cute little gray dress.
Before long I felt pretty stupid.
That was when and how I discovered that most (single) women do have a fun little red party dress.
Here's the evidence-

eShakti is here to save you from my embarrassment with a Valentine's Day sale! Lots of red dresses!
Here are 2 of my favorites-

This top one is the Hailey dress, which of course you can customize and modify for just $7.50 to add sleeves, change the neckline, shorten or lengthen the hem. Doesn't it just look like a fun dancing dress? The dress deserves a fun, sexy date to go on!

For the more traditional and conservative woman, there is the ruffle hem ponte sheath dress. Another dress that works for office, church, or a fun date or party night. I love it just the way it is. I don't know that I would change a thing to it.

You have time to order a new dress in time for Valentine's Day. In fact, you have time to get 3 dresses, with their ongoing buy 2 get 1 free sale. And first time buyers get a $30 off coupon too!