Unlimited LDS Audiobooks and Ebooks - All on YOUR Smartphone!

What does a 30 day FREE membership get you? 

1,500 free ebooks

500 audiobooks

All on your smartphone!

Deseret Book has launched it's new ebook and audiobook service called Bookshelf Plus. And for a monthly fee of $9.99, or an annual membership of $99/yr, you get access to thousands of books. 

I am a book fanatic. (I don't just write books, I avidly ready them too.) I listen to or read a new book almost every 3 days. But it can be very hard to find LDS ebooks at a reasonable price! Drives me crazy! So it is a great gift that I can FINALLY access the Deseret Book catalog, and listen to them on my phone. 

Fun fact- The subscription/membership (service) is called Bookshelf Plus - that's the membership/subscription service that allows you to read or listen to UNLIMITED ebooks and audiobooks.
The actual app you download (from the Google Play store or the Apple iTunes store) to your phone is called the Deseret Bookshelf. You can use Bookshelf without a Plus membership. You will just be limited to a small amount of free materials. You can still use the app to buy ebooks/audiobooks at regular price.

To clarify- pay for a membership with Plus, and you get access to THOUSANDS of free books. Without a membership, pay regular price to buy ebooks. 

Bonus- when I downloaded the Bookshelf, it wasn't some crazy huge app that killed the memory on my iPhone 6. (With over 1,000 pictures on my phone, mostly of my adorable baby nephew Charlie, free space on my phone is a thing of the past. And don't even dare suggest I remove some of the pictures!) 

When you download the app, it comes with links/icons for official Church materials (Gospel Doctrine lesson book, Teachings of the Prophets, etc) right on the front. It even has links to the most recent General Conference talks right there the minute you download the app. That's links to both the audio and e-book version, which is really convenient. There are even links to classic church talks, and to free literary classics (I immediately downloaded Les Mis and Large Catechism (by Martin Luther)). 

You can see from my phone screenshots below how easy it is to download a book. You see it in the "discover" tab, click on it, then click download and open, and voila, it downloads. That fast and easy. And because you have your annual membership, you don't have to pay for it!

Don't forget the 30 day free trial membership if you aren't sure you want to commit yet! But you will want to commit, trust me. It's great!

Let's say you wanted to buy my first published book, "Beyond Perfection." If you check it out on Amazon, the Kindle version is $14.99 (of which yours truly gets something like 50 cents if you buy it.) (Seriously, moms, don't let your babies grow up to be authors.) 

On Deseret Book, you only have to pay $9.99.  But if you have a Bookshelf Plus membership and the Deseret Bookshelf app, YOU GET IT FOR FREE!

If you are a regular consumer of Mormon books, LDS Church materials, clean e-books, and uplifting audiobooks, you are going to love this new offering from Deseret Book. 

RECAP-

DESERET BOOK BOOKSHELF PLUS MEMBERSHIP

30 DAY FREE TRIAL!!

THOUSANDS of free e-books! THOUSANDS!!

Tons of audiobooks that you can't get anywhere else!

After your 30 day free trial, it's either $9.99/mo, OR $99/yr. 

And you can get it all on your smartphone. 

Affiliate Blogger Disclaimer- I did not get paid to write this post. I am a beta user and blogger of the product. If you use my links to purchase the Deseret Book Bookshelf Plus membership, I receive a commission. But it no way, shape, or form, effects the cost of your membership or purchases for me to receive the commission. 

Mormon dot org

If you are reading this through an RSS feed, and not on the actual blog, you are missing out on seeing the awesome ad to the right! It's my dear friend, Tim Gates of Due West, in a Mormon.org spot. I've seen the video featuring Tim and it's just wonderful. I highly encourage you to watch it. Learn more about what makes Tim (and his family, and his Due West family) so incredibly awesome. Makes me humbled and happy to call him my friend. 

The Center of Our Lives Must Be Jesus Christ

Elder Oaks, I Am Not Afflicted. I Am An Asset.

Dear Elder Oaks:

You broke my heart tonight. You compared my beautiful life to disease, disability, and depression. You called my marital status an affliction. I have never been so hurt before. Your words hurt me in ways I didn't know possible. As difficult and lonely as my path may be, it is not an affliction.
I know that you meant well and that your words were meant to be ones of comfort. You spoke of the Atonement and how Christ knows my pain. You explained that the Savior often walked alone and knew and understood what it means to be lonely. I agree and I believe. I am grateful for the intent of your words. It is why I am not offended or angry.
Just truly broken-hearted.
Imagine a mother finding out that her child is considered disabled. Or a person finding out they have a disease. How crushing it must be in those moments. That's exactly how I felt when you called my life an "affliction."
I know there are many who took comfort in your words. There are plenty of singles who were grateful to be acknowledged for their pain. And I am very happy for them. It did mean a lot to hear a General Authority acknowledge the challenges of being single with more than just routine commentary about dating. I am grateful that you respected and spoke of the pain we often feel. But again, I am not afflicted with singlehood. And it hurts me to be labeled as such.
The diseased and disabled and those with afflictions require extra service and attention. They are not able to give as much service and sacrifice to the Church [without considerable assistance from others]. Singles should not be put into the same category or consideration as these special demographics.
I am the Young Women's President in my ward. I have been in several YW presidencies. I am a temple worker. I have been a Primary worker, a Relief Society teacher, a ward missionary, and conference co-chair.  I give more of my time to the Church than your average person. And I always have.
My marital status is not an affliction. It is an assistance and blessing to others. It has never held me back. It frees me to serve and help others in ways that a married parent cannot do. I am an asset to others.
I am, however, afflicted with people who do not understand or relate to my situation. I've always found that odd. Weren't we all born single? How is it so hard for married people to remember what it was like to be single? I am afflicted with people who give bad advice. I am afflicted by people who think that being single is a choice, or that dating should be the same at 40 as it was at 20.Where is the advice for dating over 30? Surely when you were dating your second wife you must have noticed that it wasn't the same as dating when you were in college. Why has no one ever offered anything other than comfort to us? Why has no one ever acknowledged that singles are an asset to the Church? And that our lives are just as full of joy as they are of pain? Why is it so taboo to acknowledge that singles can have happy and fulfilling lives? If you don't want us to feel afflicted, acknowledge our contributions and potential.
I am afflicted with a great deal of pain every time I am treated like a second rate citizen at church. For instance, the time I had to sit through a YW lesson about female role models, that by definition excluded me as a role model because I am single. (Ironic that I am the YW president, but not considered a role model.)
I admit and recognize that loneliness can feel like an affliction. I do not belittle that fact.
Being single can be hard. But it is not a disease. It is not a disability. It's not an affliction. It's simply a state of being. Your words came on a day where I was feeling more pain and loneliness than usual. I found no comfort in your words. Instead, this new label made me feel worse, like I had no purpose or meaning. I had no idea people thought such an awful thing about me. And it hurt more coming from you, than anyone else. After all, you are the one Church leader who experienced singlehood and dating later in life. I always thought you understood us better.
Please reconsider calling singles "afflicted." Acknowledge us for all that we give the Church. Acknowledge that we are assets. And that we do it alone. We do just as much, if not more, than our married counterparts, and we do it without a support system.
I am grateful for your words of comfort. "Sometimes His power heals an infirmity, but the scriptures and our experiences teach that sometimes He succors or helps by giving us the strength or patience to endure our infirmities." These are words of comfort for many things. But please, do not call my marital status an infirmity. I am so much more than that. I am an asset. And I am a daughter of God.

Gift of God's Grace

"With the gift of God's grace, the path of discipleship does not lead backward; it leads upward." - President Dieter Uchtdorf

Come Unto Christ

"If you feel small and weak, please simply come unto Christ who makes weak things strong." - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Good Works and Salvation

"Thinking that we can trade our good works for salvation is like buying a plane ticket and then supposing we own the airline." - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Great Courage

"Great Courage will be required to choose the right." - Elder Ulisses Soares

Choose to be Happy

"When was the last time I chose to be happy rather than demanding to be right?"  - Sister Linda K. Burton

Follow Him

"Whoever you are and whatever your past, remember this: It is not too late to make that same choice and follow Him."  - Elder Robert D. Hales

Sharing the Gospel

Sharing the gospel is a topic close to my heart and often on my mind these days. My parents left for their 18 months mission to Apia Samoa this weekend. My cousin Remi comes home from his mission to Texas later this week. So naturally, I'm thinking about missionary work.
I've never been very good at opening up and sharing my thoughts on the gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the most personal thing in my life, and I find I have to trust someone before I will share my feelings on something so intimate. And yet, as followers of Christ we have been taught to "Feed my sheep" (John 21:17).
Each Sunday for the past few months I have had the opportunity to share my testimony with the young women at church. The more I share my testimony of the gospel, the more comfortable and open I get with sharing it. Still, I have a long way to go.
I wrote "Sharing the Gospel Through Social Media" for both people who are comfortable sharing and those who are more passive about sharing. While some people may have the desire to type out their testimony and share it for the world to see, others may be more comfortable sharing a nice thought or quote. I admit, I'm more the quote or thought kind of girl, although I wouldn't be surprised if people thought I was more forward than I am.
In less than two weeks, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will hold its semi-annual General Conference. It is a big event for us with speakers from the Church leadership around the world. (Not to mention good food and music as well.) Many people will share quotes and thoughts from the conference. Some will do it well, some will does it less well.
As we lead into conference I aim to share a quote or thought from past conferences each day, to help me warm up or prepare for conference. I hope you will enjoy them!
Consider this my own efforts at practicing what I preach (after all, I did suggest something like this in my book), and my own way of more openly sharing something very personal and special to me.

Tim Gates is Awesome

You know how for almost 10 years now I've been telling you how great the band Due West is?
Well, here's a quick video about Tim Gates, the lead vocalist for Due West. Just kinda proves how amazing he is!

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10 Myths About Mormons and Gays

In December 2012, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced the launch of a new website, MormonsAndGays.org. The site was designed in an effort to encourage understanding and civil conversation about same-sex attraction, and to dispel myths regarding the Mormon Churchs stance on same-sex attraction.

But eighteen months after the launch of the site, many Church members are not aware of the site, and still get many facts wrong about the Churchs official positions. Entitled, Love One Another: A Discussion on Same-Sex Attraction, the site features a number of videos from people who share real experiences from their own perspectives on what can be a divisive and emotionally charged topic.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Churchs Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, “Because we dont understand everything about this subject it is wise to stick to the revealed word of God as found in the scriptures. What we do know is that the doctrine of the Churchthat sexual activity should only occur between a man and a woman who are marriedhas not changed and is not changing. But what is changing and what needs to change is to help our own members and families understand how to deal with same-gender attraction.”

“As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate,” Elder Quentin L. Cook said. “Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion and outreach. Lets not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.”

There are still many misunderstandings and myths regarding same-sex attraction. Sadly, these misconceptions can be very harmful to others. The following myths are all corrected on MormonAndGays.org or Mormon Newsroom. The information provided below is not paraphrased, but are direct quotes from the site, with the name of the General Authority that said it, or the section title on the site, or linked to articles on Mormon Newsroom.

Myth #1: Same-sex attraction is a sin.

Same-sex attraction is a reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Its important to remember a few things that people dont always understand or remember. And that is that homosexual behavior is not the unforgiveable sin. The atonement and repentance can bring full forgiveness there, and peace. And secondly, Id say though we dont know everything we know enough to be able to say that same-sex attraction in and of itself is not a sin. The feeling, the desire is not classified the same as homosexual behavior itself. And the third point I would mention is that when people have those desires and same-sex attractions, our attitude is “stay with us.” I think thats what God is saying “Stay with me.” And thats what we want to say in the Church: “Stay with us.”- Elder D. Todd Christofferson.

Myth #2: Same-sex attraction is a choice.

Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all Gods children, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters.

No one fully knows the root causes of same-sex attraction. Each experience is different. Latter-day Saints recognize the enormous complexity of this matter. “Being True to Religious Beliefs“

“Thats where our doctrine comes into play. The Church does not have a position on the causes of any of these susceptibilities or inclinations, including those related to same-gender attraction. Those are scientific questions whether nature or nurture those are things the Church doesnt have a position on.” Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Interview with Elder Oaks and Elder Wickman: Same-Gender Attraction.”

“Whether it is nature or nurture really begs the important question, and a preoccupation with nature or nurture can, it seems to me, lead someone astray from the principles that Elder Oaks has been describing here. Why somebody has a same-gender attraction who can say? But what matters is the fact that we know we can control how we behave, and it is behavior which is important.” Elder Lance Wickman, “Interview with Elder Oaks and Elder Wickman: Same-Gender Attraction.“

Myth #3: Gay is a disease.

We recognize in each other our common needs for intimacy and companionship and can discuss them without shame or rejection. Attraction to those of the same sex, however, should not be viewed as a disease or illness. Elder Christofferson.

Myth #4: The Church has changed its position on same-sex attraction.

There shouldnt be a perception or an expectation that the Churchs doctrines or position have changed or are changing. Its simply not true, and we want youth and all people to understand that. The doctrines that relate to human sexuality and gender are really central to our theology. And marriage between a man and a woman, and the families that come from those marriages thats all central to Gods plan and to the opportunities that He offers to us, here and hereafter. – Elder Christofferson.

Choose your friends with caution

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Courage, Not Compromise

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Eating with the Pharisees

There is an interesting misconception prevalent throughout the world that we should love the sinner, but hate the sin. There is no place in the scriptures that this is written. In fact, the person who said it was the Catholic saint, St. Augustine. His Letter 211 (c. 424) contains the phrase Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum, which translates roughly to "With love for mankind and hatred of sins." The phrase has become more famous as "love the sinner but hate the sin" or "hate the sin and not the sinner" (the latter appearing in Mohandas Gandhi’s 1929 autobiography).

In fact, Christ had an interesting way of handling the sinners. He ate with them, and never called them out as being sinners.
For instance, in Mark 2:15-17.

Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him.

And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners?

When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Christ never said, “Hey look at me over here eating with the sinners.” He didn’t put out a sign or segregate the room saying “sinners eat here.” He never said there was anything wrong with knowing or eating with sinners.

It was the Pharisees who had a problem with the sinners. What Christ said was, “A healthy person doesn’t need a doctor. Likewise, a perfect person doesn’t need a Savior.”

Which makes me wonder – am I a sinner or a Pharisee?

In the story of the ten lepers we learn of the ten that were sent to cleanse themselves and be healed, and how only one returned to show thanks. Have you ever noticed that Christ didn’t condemn or punish or say something negative about the other nine? They were still healed. He didn’t take the blessings back when they failed to live up to expectations.

When the woman found Jesus eating in the Pharisee’s house, and washed his feet with her tears and hair, it wasn’t Christ that called her out as a sinner. It was the Pharisee. In fact the Pharisee said, “This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.”

Some people take away from that story that Christ let the sinner woman serve him. That part is easy for me to accept. Christ set the example over and over again of loving the sinner.

What I find it interesting he was eating in the home of a Pharisee. Jesus was eating with one of his worst critics. One of the very people that would ultimately lead to His crucifixion.

That’s another interesting point. The Pharisees thought they knew everything and believed themselves to be righteous people. But they were the ones who crucified and condemned the son of God. Not the so-called sinners.

Again, I wonder, am I a sinner or a Pharisee?

We are all sinners. The Church is full of people who make mistakes. People will offend us daily. We will each sin today, yesterday, and tomorrow. And so will the person sitting next to us. It’s just a fact of life that no one is perfect. Alice in Wonderland may have believed six impossible things before breakfast, but the truth is, I sinned six times before breakfast. Probably. I wasn’t counting.

Knowing that someone is imperfect is no reason to withhold our love from our fellow Saints, neighbors, family, or friends. If Christ can eat with the Pharisees, and other sinners, we can surely show kindness to the sinners and offenders in our lives.

In our ranks, every day, there is someone who doesn’t come to church on Sunday, because they don’t feel loved by someone there. Whether or not the offense was ever intentional, doesn’t mean it wasn’t felt. Someone who believes in the gospel is afraid to come to church because they don’t feel loved.

How sad is that?

Are you showing enough love and forgiveness to everyone around you that every sinner can feel welcome in a house of worship?

In October 2006, Elder Bednar rather famously gave a General Conference talk entitled, “And Nothing Shall Offend Them.” In it he said, “When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.”

He went on to say, “we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation.”

There is a popular meme going around the internet right now that says, “Not going to church because there are hypocrites there is like not going to the gym because there are out of shape people there.” The church and the world are filled with imperfect people. Actually, that’s not true. The church isn’t full of imperfect people. There is always room for one more.

I can’t help but think of a line from a Billy Joel song, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners, than cry with the saints.” And while I know that line is meant to be flippant, he accidentally got it right. I’d rather laugh with the sinners, and let them know they are loved, than cry with the saints over the fact that there are sinners in this world. After all, there is no record of Jesus gathering his disciples around him to cry for the sinners*. 

Back over Easter I saw another interesting meme on Facebook. It was regarding the Holy Week leading up to Easter. It was a bit tongue in cheek, and yet very on point. It said, “If you really want to live like Christ did leading up to Easter, remember he spent that week overthrowing tables in the temple.”

Let’s go back to this concept of how to love sinners.

Matthew 21:12

 12 And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,

 13 And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

Christ ate and communed and walked and talked with sinners. But he did not let anyone make a mockery of the temple, the house of the Lord and prayer.

What I take away from this is that we all make mistakes, and the Lord will love us, and help heal us. But there is a line that you cannot cross, and that line is making a mockery of the word and house of the Lord.

Do you love and laugh with the sinners? Do you “cry with the saints?” Or are you a Pharisee that points out the sinners and sins of the world? Do you eat with the Pharisees in your life?

I’m going to make a more concerted effort to be Christ-like by loving the sinners and eating with (and forgiving) the Pharisees. If Jesus could eat in the home of his critics and condemners, I can learn to be more tolerant, forgiving, and accepting as well.

*I respectfully exclude the Garden of Gethsemane, which was a very different cry and prayer.

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same

My favorite picture from Awesome Con. This was the "Debate 2015: Which Superhero would Make the Best US President?" panel.

The last few weeks have been crazy busy for me. And it all came to a full stop 2 days ago.
I've been writing like a madwoman, getting books ready for Awesome Con. Then I went to Florida with girlfriends for a few days (where I was introduced to Escape Rooms, and fell in love with the concept, and you'll hear more about that in the future I think). And then came home, turned around, and went straight to DC for Awesome Con. Got through that, came home, did some work for a client, and BOOM, it's all done.
No more work.
No more jobs.
No more clients.
Now I just live in Roanoke with nothing to do.
Well, for a few days or weeks anyway. I may not have a paying job, but I'm still busy enough on my own. (I'd much rather have a paying job though!)

Me at Awesome Con. My shirt had a cape on it. I went straight from Awesome Con back to Roanoke without changing clothes. I wore this shirt for about 18 hours. There was a massive thunderstorm that caused me to pull off at a truck stop in the middle of nowhere southern VA for a while. Next thing I know people are pointing at me, and bringing their kids over to look at me, and one lady asked to take a selfie with me. I completely forgot I was wearing a cape. It caused quite the scene. 

I was "called" as the Young Women's President at church this week. If there are non-Mormons reading this, that means I am now the volunteer in charge of the 12-18 year old girls. I am responsible for making sure there is a teacher for the Sunday lessons, and an activity every week. And for getting the girls to youth conference and girls camp this summer. Among other things. And getting called in mid-June means hitting the ground running. We have youth conference in 2 weeks. I will come home from that, shower, nap, and get in a plane to fly to Europe for a few weeks. I come from Europe, where I will possibly have to go from the airport to girls camp. If I'm lucky I'll get to come home and sleep in my own bed for a day.
(It's going to be madness!)
I'm very excited and humbled for the chance to work with my Baby Ducks again. I've watched these girls grow up and love being a part of their lives. It's different this time because I'm the organization president, and not just one of the advisers. That's the intimidating part! When I think about how influential my YW leaders, particularly the presidents, were in my life, it humbles and overwhelms me that I now play that role in someone (15 someones) else's life. I suppose in many ways I was already playing that role for them, since I've been around since many of these girls were 12. But it's hitting me harder now that I'm the president.

So here I am...
Back in Roanoke, serving the Baby Ducks, and looking for a job.
Sounds familiar, doesn't it? 

COME SEE "FREETOWN"

Get your tickets to "Freetown" today!

Exclusive Washington, DC premiere with the director, Garrett Batty, at AMC Hoffman Alexandria, Monday, March 30, 7:30 pm. 

https://www.tugg.com/events/14730  - BUY THEM HERE!

Caught in the middle of a brutal civil war, six Liberian Mormon missionaries in Monrovia flee the widespread violence of their native country. Their destination: Freetown, Sierra Leone. With the help of local church leader Phillip Abubakar, the missionaries make the difficult journey, only to have their troubles compounded by a rebel fighter bent on killing one of their own. Based on true events, FREETOWN is a thrilling and inspiring story of hope and survival.


Due to the "on demand" nature of this special, one-time only showing, we must sell a certain threshold of tickets in advance for this viewing to happen. Tickets will NOT be available at the door or on Fandango. They are only available through Tugg.com. So buy today! Don't miss your chance to see this incredible new film.

Men Are That They Might Have Joy?

It's time to pull out the same picture I use over and over again when my heart is in emotional turmoil. 

My stormy seas picture gets used every time I'm faced with complications, confusion, and heartbreak. 

The picture of the skydiver - 

- is what I use when I've made a decision, and I'm jumping into the unknown. 

But the stormy seas picture is for when I don't know what to do, or when I'm not ready to accept my options. And today it's all about the stormy seas. 

This scripture has been on my mind a lot lately. 

 2 Nephi 2:25, 27 

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

"Men are that they might have joy." 

I struggle with this. I wish that I didn't. I hate that I struggle with it. I envy people who believe that everything around them is always good. I get annoyed by people who use this scripture to justify narcissistic or selfish behavior and choices. 

Over the past several years, particularly through my long stints and trials of unemployment, it has been very hard to believe that I am that I "might have joy." It all too often feels like my entire life is designed to be a punishment or to really define where my breaking point is. 

Today was another roller coaster of emotions for me. Things I firmly believed and accepted to be true, and that I am supposed to have joy, were nearly impossible to accept at the end of the day. In one moment I could believe that answers to prayers were found, and I was about to say goodbye to some of my biggest struggles. And then in the next moment, in just the course of a simple conversation with a friend, I learned nearly be accident, that I was completely wrong about my answers. 

In a few more weeks I will have to accept that someone else's selfish actions will profoundly change my life. (To be more honest, I've already accepted that those actions will have a negative impact on me. But in a few weeks, I will have to make the necessary changes to my life as a result of those actions.) Accepting that I have to take an option that I don't want, I don't like, and will make me profoundly unhappy, is what makes it so hard to accept "men are that they might have joy."

I know we each struggle with our own issues of faith. But this one is mine. I struggle to believe and accept that we are supposed to have joy, when my life has turned out so very far off from what I wanted. I have found joy in the life that I have. But I have had more "trials" than happiness in the last 7 years. Where is the joy? Where is the end of the struggles? Where is the path that leads to my joy? 

I have no answers. I have no neat and tidy way to wrap this up. All I can say is that I guess my hope is tied up in believing that this scripture is true. That men are that they might have joy. I do believe it. And as such, I will continue to have the faith that my situation will improve. Things will change and get better. I will find joy. Somewhere, somehow. 

Trust in the Lord - Quote