Showing posts with label mountain life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mountain life. Show all posts

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Participation Medals

You know that feeling you get on Sunday evening, when you're just finally getting the hang of this relaxing and resting thing, and then you realize you have to get up and go to work again on Monday? There needs to be a word for that feeling. A word that means "relaxing interrupted." Someone want to coin that word for me? 


This was a big weekend for me. Two significant things happened at the same time. The first was that I participated in a 5K. It was just the Color Run, which is non-competitive, and not timed. It's just for fun. But the point is, I did it. For a year now I've been actively working out and trying to lose weight. And I've actually reached a point where I enjoy exercising now. Running for more than a few minutes still eludes me. But I can walk about 6 miles before I start to tire. I could possibly go longer than that, but by then I'm so bored I don't care. But I digress. The Color Run was fun and I'm glad I did it. How I got purple powder through my shirt, and my bra, to stain my chest and cleavage, I'll never know. Not to mention somehow my belly button got stained orange. (Which made me laugh because "navel orange.")

The second significant thing is that I went out and did something with a friend in Roanoke. Christi and I actually see each other a few times a week to go walking/work out. And we've met up for dinner a few times as well. But this was different and it was a big deal for me. For the first time ever I did something fun and social with someone in Roanoke and it had nothing to do with church, family, and/or work. That has never happened before. It was nice to know I'm still a social human.






Wednesday, August 19, 2015

I'm Going to Succeed Because I'm Crazy Enough to Think I Can




https://www.facebook.com/AuthorErinAnnMcBride 
http://twitter.com/erinannie 
https://instagram.com/erinannie17 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinmcbride 
https://www.goodreads.com/erinmcbride 
https://www.pinterest.com/erinannie/ 
http://www.amazon.com/Erin-Ann-McBride/e/B0094UQZSS/

Monday, February 24, 2014

Adversity and Joy


I have a dozen different thoughts tumbling through my brain tonight. And as usual, my inner monologue wants to work out my problems by writing and blogging them out.

I was in Roanoke, visiting my family and friends, for the weekend. This is only the second time I've been back since I moved away last summer. I never expected to take this long between visits.

Naturally, as expected, lots of people asked how my job is going and how my life is turning out to be. It should be such a simple question, right? With a nice canned positive response ready to go!

But for me it isn't such an easy question. I try to fake it and give a happy answer the best I can, but it's hard to do.

Today at church the lesson was on adversity. (As usual, I chose to attend the young women's class with my "Baby Ducks.") The teacher did an excellent job teaching on the subject. She made a interesting and poignant point that the joy we feel after extreme adversity in our lives is a wonderful, sweet relief. After we have endured so much adversity, we can feel the joy so much more than every before.

She shared some scriptural references that illustrated nicely the concept that we must endure the pain and sorrow in order to appreciate the joy. I thought she did a really good job.

But something has gnawed at me all day since.

Because I don't feel that way. Not yet.

After my long term unemployment, I have yet to find that joy or sweet relief. And I think that lack of joy and relief amplifies the starkness of reality. I want to feel that joy. I keep waiting for the relief. But the truth is, I didn't get a job, and all of my problems were solved overnight.

The difficulties march ever onward. If you thought a paycheck would cure all my problems, you weren't alone, but you would be wrong.

I didn't move and instantly make a dozen fabulous friends. Six months after my move and I'm still struggling to meet people and make friends.

Life is still a constant struggle between peaceful solitude and aching loneliness. And being around all my loved ones this weekend, only exasperated the loneliness.

I still dream and hope and wait for the joy to come after so many years of adversity. I have faith that it will come. I just hope I will recognize it when it comes.


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Seasons Change


From the frequency I've been posting on this blog lately you might think I forgot I have a blog.
That's kind of true. I really do tend to forget about blogging.
It's possible the rumors are true- blogging is dead.
I can't even really think of anything to share or say. My life is pretty dull lately. I have come to accept something new about this iteration of my life. My social life won't really be daily or even weekly activities. If anything, most of my social interactions will probably be on long weekends, or for special events. I really didn't see that coming, so it's an unusual development to acknowledge and accept. But it's a little liberating to see it and accept it. It takes the pressure off feeling like my weekends need to be more social, or that I need to be "putting myself out there" more.
This past weekend I had a great time with a small group of friends down in southern Virginia. We had a nice little weekend country/mountain escape with great food, music, and scenery. The truth is I would rather socialize in these settings where you can really get to know people better, than the typical alternatives (parties, dinners, etc.).


I'm starting to appreciate this "season" of life a little bit more. Sometimes it isn't easy to love and enjoy this stage/phase/season of life (that stage being an 'older' single) because the world tells us we're not supposed to like it. Supposedly we're supposed to be a little depressed and down on ourselves because we're not married with children. And if we express how much we like our lives, well, then that's the reason we're not married. There's a strange Catch-22 that isn't true.
The truth is, I'm making the most of the life I have and I am always open-minded about the future and change. I wouldn't want a life devoid of change. It's not who I am.
But for right now, I am enjoying my current situation. I enjoy my job. I enjoy my side ventures and projects. I enjoy meeting new people and making friends. I enjoy my personal time and privacy.
It's an unexpected development to wake up and discover I like my situation. But I hope it stays (and by 'it' I mean my acceptance) for a while. 

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

I've tried so very hard.



That old familiar, annoying, and frustrating, feeling of depression is creeping back into my life. 
I've been trying for so long and working so hard to move on with my life. Trying so very hard...
But these HUGE things that I want to change and improve in my world I only have so much control over. 
I've applied to over 140 jobs. ONE HUNDRED FORTY!!!
I've looked at a dozen places to live. 
I've networked. 
I've worked hard. 
I've published.
I've waited. And waited.
I've tried. 
I've tried so very hard. 
So very very hard. 
But I can't make these things happen. I can't make someone see me in the pile of resumes. 
It's not unlike that feeling of being "too" single. 
Of wanting to be dating, wanting to be married, wanting to be in love. 
But no matter how hard you try and how much you want it, you just never find The One. 
Or s/he never falls in love with you. 
You just want to move on, and have that life, but you can't control it. You can't make it happen. 
It's also not unlike writing a book and self-publishing, and wondering why no one buys or reads it. 
I tried. 
I tried hard. 
I've tried so very hard. 
Is this ever going to end?  
I've been patient for 3 years. 
I've tried so very hard for 3 years. 
How much more? 
I just can't take it much more.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Pictures and Stories from Life on the Mountain



It always starts out like this- KayaDog staring at me with her big brown eyes, holding a toy, wanting to know why I don't love her enough to take her outside.

And so we go outside and explore our little mountainside.  Here is what we see-



The roses in our front yard that some evil bug is determined to eat alive.

So I cut the biggest ones off today and finally had something pretty to put in the vase I brought back from Cambodia.


On both sides of our house there are wild raspberries growing. On the left side of the house (our property) they grow along a very steep hillside. Lately there has been considerable evidence that a bear lives just below the raspberry patch. Therefore, I do not frequent this patch often.

On the right side (shown above), there is a very large patch. It is about 10 ft away from my driveway.  However, this would be our neighbor's yard. It is about 2 acres away from his actual house.
My neighbors are quite peculiar people. And I am about to mock them. You have been warned. When we moved in our other neighbors told us that they were strange people. In spite of the fact that technically they are our next door neighbors (just down a very steep hill, around a bend, and a few acres away, where we can't actually see their house), it only took 9 months to finally meet them. And when I did finally meet them, the first thing they said to me was that they can't stand any of our neighbors. The second thing they said (I was wearing a Mitt Romney t-shirt at the time) was that Romney seemed like an interesting man, but they don't trust Mormons. He then spotted the Utah license plates on my car and said, "If you're from Utah, I'm sure you understand." When I straightened him out, and let him know not only do I support Romney, but I am also LDS, he didn't apologize or even flinch. Ridiculous.

This would be my peculiar neighbor's driveway. It has been like this ever since the day we moved in. They have not done any repairs on their driveway in that time. They just really do not want anyone driving in there. Why? I have no idea. If you look closely, you can even see that they have put reflective strips on the sticks and buckets. They mean business!

Back to the raspberries-
One of the perks of living on top of a mountain, away from civilization is the ability to walk your dog in your underwear. No one can see my house, and I can't see theirs. So if I want to go outside in nature in my most natural outfit, I do so.
You can only imagine my total shock and surprise TWICE this week when I stepped out my front door to find my neighbor's car in my driveway, and the two of them picking raspberries! AT 7 A.M.!!
And me, not so decently dressed.

Sure, the raspberry patch is pretty far away from their house, and up a steep hill. I don't blame them for driving to get to it. And yes, it is on their side of the property line. (Which they have ever so kindly put stakes up to indicate.) But seriously, the people who keep up a year round barrier in their driveway just park in mine?! Grr...
Back to the walk and more of what we see-


This random weed grows in the culvert that runs down our street. The red bow is litter that got caught on it a few weeks ago. The weed has shot up since then, and it amuses me to no end that it looks like it all belongs that way.

Next we see the peculiar, rude neighbor's yard. CACTI!
Why, for the love of all that is anything, would you (true story coming up here) map out where the halfway point is between you and your fiancee, pick Southwest Roanoke to live in, and move to the top of a lush, green, forested mountain, just to clear all of the trees off the land, put down a pre-fab house (in the middle of half-million dollar houses), and plant hundreds of cacti?!
These people spend HOURS every single day out there tending to their cacti.

Here's a nice little handful of berries that I collected on my walk (minus all of the ones I ate) from the wild bushes all up and down the roadside. I didn't have to park in anyone's driveway to collect them. Yum!

Here's a little view of Kaya as we walk back up the hill. Its a really steep hill. Sometimes we have to stop and take a few breaks. SQUIRREL!



I have no idea what this flower is called. Until this week it was just a bunch of green shoots that were about knee high. Then BOOM! This week they suddenly shot up and got bulbs on them! As you can see, they are almost as tall as me! A few have bloomed already in my neighbors' yards (not the peculiar cacti people though- they prefer to raise cacti, and not species more native to the area), and they are quite pretty. I think they will fully bloom in about 2 more days. I'm excited to see them.


On my back porch, safely away from bears, deer, and raccoons, I am growing tomatoes in a "Topsy Turvy" planter, a green pepper plant, and what I thought was cilantro. Now I am not so sure about the cilantro. I fear I may be growing a weed instead. Does anyone know if that is what cilantro should look like?
My tomatoes have not been growing very rapidly. According to the guide, they should be bearing fruit in about 2 weeks. But instead they are barely bigger than they were as starts 60 days ago. I've been tending them quite obsessively, so this was very disappointing to me. I love growing my own tomatoes! This was my first time to use a "Topsy Turvy" (its too dark outside to take a picture right now, but I'll try and remember to do it tomorrow and update this), and I was about to blame that method. I noticed that even though I had filled it to the top when I started, it had shrunk down to about halfway. I wondered if they were getting enough sunshine (I have 4 starts in it, 2 on top, 2 on bottom). Yesterday, I VERY carefully pulled the dirt aside and put more dirt beneath the top plants. I raised them back up to the top of the bag thing. Overnight they grew several inches! Hopefully this means I will actually get some tomatoes now.
My green pepper plant should also be producing in about 2 weeks. It is growing plenty tall, but so far, no sign of an actual bulb or fruit. The raccoons climbed up on the deck a few weeks ago and pulled the pepper and cilantro out of their pots. I fear they may have killed them off. They look like they are still alive, but only time will tell.

Working Girl

Recently, I've been picking up work as a background extra on various projects. In the past month or so I've worked on 3 different m...

Keep Reading! Popular Posts from this Blog.