Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Friday, May 12, 2017

Sometimes life throws you funny little curve balls.


Sometimes life throws you funny little curve balls. For instance, sometimes you hear that your favorite radio show, @waitwaitnpr is going to be in SLC for the first time in 17 years to do a live show. So you buy 2 tickets, because you have a specific friend you know would love to go to. First curveball- friend is out of the country this week. Second curveball- you bought the tix a few months ago, just to find out a few weeks ago you need to have a very minor, yet necessary surgery, and it had to be today. And I'd have to be totally intubated/knocked out for it. So do I go or sell the tickets? Silly question. Go. But I'd be unable to drive and may have to cancel at the last minute. Third curveball- figuring out just the right friend who would love the show too, and wouldn't blink when I explained the strings attached. And would still go without me if necessary. And @sarabnich was the perfect friend for the job. So do you go to a national radio show taping 6 hours after surgery and full of painkillers? I figured this could actually only make the show funnier. Fourth curveball, I may have been a little out of it, and told Sara to go to the U, (Kingsbury Hall), and not Abravnel Hall (downtown SLC). Thankfully we got there 30 mins early, figured out she shouldn't listen to me, and still got to the right place right on time. 😂 The show was totally worth it and hilarious. Loved it. Painkillers wore off just about the time we arrived, so I can say it was funny without the doped up caveat. Glad I went and have no regrets. And it was awesome to see Sara again as well. We laughed and talked and you would never know we haven't seen each other in 4 years. Bonus- I now know how to say charcuterie and manchego. And yes, I do realize I just switched from saying you to I, but I don't care. I've been reunited with my painkillers. And I have no regrets. #NPR #nprlife #sinussurgery #reallynotabigdeal #noregrets #thankyouCeleeseandMadiforhelpingmetodaytoo #petersagal has his own hashtag

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Participation Medals

You know that feeling you get on Sunday evening, when you're just finally getting the hang of this relaxing and resting thing, and then you realize you have to get up and go to work again on Monday? There needs to be a word for that feeling. A word that means "relaxing interrupted." Someone want to coin that word for me? 


This was a big weekend for me. Two significant things happened at the same time. The first was that I participated in a 5K. It was just the Color Run, which is non-competitive, and not timed. It's just for fun. But the point is, I did it. For a year now I've been actively working out and trying to lose weight. And I've actually reached a point where I enjoy exercising now. Running for more than a few minutes still eludes me. But I can walk about 6 miles before I start to tire. I could possibly go longer than that, but by then I'm so bored I don't care. But I digress. The Color Run was fun and I'm glad I did it. How I got purple powder through my shirt, and my bra, to stain my chest and cleavage, I'll never know. Not to mention somehow my belly button got stained orange. (Which made me laugh because "navel orange.")

The second significant thing is that I went out and did something with a friend in Roanoke. Christi and I actually see each other a few times a week to go walking/work out. And we've met up for dinner a few times as well. But this was different and it was a big deal for me. For the first time ever I did something fun and social with someone in Roanoke and it had nothing to do with church, family, and/or work. That has never happened before. It was nice to know I'm still a social human.






Monday, August 24, 2015

Not All Knights in Shining Armor Remember to Wear Shining Armor





I pride myself on being a fairly self-sufficient individual. I support myself. I can cook, bake, and decorate a nice home. I’ve made sure to also learn those less feminine skills that gender roles designate are more of a masculine duty, like changing the oil in my car, fixing a flat tire, or jumping the car battery.

I’ve never wanted to be a burden on anyone. And as a single woman, I find it wise and prudent to be able to do most things myself and not need to call for help for every little thing. And if I can’t do it myself (I admit, I have a few limitations) I make sure there is enough money to hire someone who can. I admit it, I hate to ask for help.

But even the best laid plans of a determined, fiercely independent woman sometimes things go awry. And from these SNAFUs we often learn our greatest lessons.

When It All Goes Wrong

So there I was, ready to hit the road with friends for a ski trip. Now, let me explain what this entails for all of you western U.S. types. Ski resorts in this part of the world can often be found in remote locations, and not just twenty minutes up the nearest canyon. In our case, it was a good three hours away, in a far off state park in a different state, and to say it was in “the sticks” wouldn’t be wrong.

We hit the road at six in the morning, most of us operating on less than five hours of sleep. We stopped on our way out of town to pick up one more friend out in the suburbs. We passed by a gas station that always brings up mixed emotions for me. It was the worst day of my life the last time I was at that gas station, and just the sight of it makes me choke up. It was a place where a few years ago I realized my life had officially hit rock bottom. I’ll forgo the details of what rock bottom looks like. But I’ll say this much- rock bottom is an awful and horrible place.

Worst Day Ever

But that gas station was also the place where two important events happened in my life. The first was that I learned how to accept and appreciate the true kindness and charity of strangers who correctly suspected I had hit rock bottom and helped me. The second was I learned how to ask a friend for help, and accept his generous assistance. Allowing my friend to see me in such an awful situation taught me a new level of humility and honesty. But his willingness to help me before even knew what the problem was, taught me what a good man can be. So when my skiing buddies and I passed by that poignant little gas station, my heart filled with gratitude and memories yet again.

Little did I know what the day ahead held for us, or else I would have considered staying behind at that gas station.

We passed the gas station and drove on. It was less than an hour later that I looked in the rear view of the 1997 Suburban I was driving and saw clouds of white steam pouring out the back. I should add here that I normally don’t drive this jalopy. It’s on loan to me while my much younger car gets an expensive transmission and clutch repaired. I’m incredibly grateful for the loaner jalopy, even though the rest of this story may make you wonder why.

Other cars quickly started to flag me down as the small cloud of steam turned into a massive cloud of steam. I exited the highway, with the other car of friends, following right behind. Of course, I managed to pull off on the one exit on that highway that doesn’t have a gas station, let alone any sort of business or dwelling, anywhere in sight.

Admittedly, I had no idea how to handle the situation. Steam pouring from the front and back of the car at the same time was not something I’ve experienced before. I was lost. And I felt horrible because it was obvious I was about to ruin the day for my friends.

Never Trust a Jalopy, Always Trust Men in Carhartts

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Eating with the Pharisees




There is an interesting misconception prevalent throughout the world that we should love the sinner, but hate the sin. There is no place in the scriptures that this is written. In fact, the person who said it was the Catholic saint, St. Augustine. His Letter 211 (c. 424) contains the phrase Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum, which translates roughly to "With love for mankind and hatred of sins." The phrase has become more famous as "love the sinner but hate the sin" or "hate the sin and not the sinner" (the latter appearing in Mohandas Gandhi’s 1929 autobiography).

In fact, Christ had an interesting way of handling the sinners. He ate with them, and never called them out as being sinners.
For instance, in Mark 2:15-17.
Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him.
And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners?
Christ never said, “Hey look at me over here eating with the sinners.” He didn’t put out a sign or segregate the room saying “sinners eat here.” He never said there was anything wrong with knowing or eating with sinners.
It was the Pharisees who had a problem with the sinners. What Christ said was, “A healthy person doesn’t need a doctor. Likewise, a perfect person doesn’t need a Savior.”
Which makes me wonder – am I a sinner or a Pharisee?
In the story of the ten lepers we learn of the ten that were sent to cleanse themselves and be healed, and how only one returned to show thanks. Have you ever noticed that Christ didn’t condemn or punish or say something negative about the other nine? They were still healed. He didn’t take the blessings back when they failed to live up to expectations.
When the woman found Jesus eating in the Pharisee’s house, and washed his feet with her tears and hair, it wasn’t Christ that called her out as a sinner. It was the Pharisee. In fact the Pharisee said, “This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.”
Some people take away from that story that Christ let the sinner woman serve him. That part is easy for me to accept. Christ set the example over and over again of loving the sinner.
What I find it interesting he was eating in the home of a Pharisee. Jesus was eating with one of his worst critics. One of the very people that would ultimately lead to His crucifixion.
That’s another interesting point. The Pharisees thought they knew everything and believed themselves to be righteous people. But they were the ones who crucified and condemned the son of God. Not the so-called sinners.
Again, I wonder, am I a sinner or a Pharisee?
We are all sinners. The Church is full of people who make mistakes. People will offend us daily. We will each sin today, yesterday, and tomorrow. And so will the person sitting next to us. It’s just a fact of life that no one is perfect. Alice in Wonderland may have believed six impossible things before breakfast, but the truth is, I sinned six times before breakfast. Probably. I wasn’t counting.
Knowing that someone is imperfect is no reason to withhold our love from our fellow Saints, neighbors, family, or friends. If Christ can eat with the Pharisees, and other sinners, we can surely show kindness to the sinners and offenders in our lives.
In our ranks, every day, there is someone who doesn’t come to church on Sunday, because they don’t feel loved by someone there. Whether or not the offense was ever intentional, doesn’t mean it wasn’t felt. Someone who believes in the gospel is afraid to come to church because they don’t feel loved.
How sad is that?
Are you showing enough love and forgiveness to everyone around you that every sinner can feel welcome in a house of worship?
In October 2006, Elder Bednar rather famously gave a General Conference talk entitled, “And Nothing Shall Offend Them.” In it he said, “When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.”
He went on to say, “we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation.”
There is a popular meme going around the internet right now that says, “Not going to church because there are hypocrites there is like not going to the gym because there are out of shape people there.” The church and the world are filled with imperfect people. Actually, that’s not true. The church isn’t full of imperfect people. There is always room for one more.
I can’t help but think of a line from a Billy Joel song, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners, than cry with the saints.” And while I know that line is meant to be flippant, he accidentally got it right. I’d rather laugh with the sinners, and let them know they are loved, than cry with the saints over the fact that there are sinners in this world. After all, there is no record of Jesus gathering his disciples around him to cry for the sinners*. 
Back over Easter I saw another interesting meme on Facebook. It was regarding the Holy Week leading up to Easter. It was a bit tongue in cheek, and yet very on point. It said, “If you really want to live like Christ did leading up to Easter, remember he spent that week overthrowing tables in the temple.”
Let’s go back to this concept of how to love sinners.
Matthew 21:12
 12 And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,
 13 And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.
Christ ate and communed and walked and talked with sinners. But he did not let anyone make a mockery of the temple, the house of the Lord and prayer.
What I take away from this is that we all make mistakes, and the Lord will love us, and help heal us. But there is a line that you cannot cross, and that line is making a mockery of the word and house of the Lord.
Do you love and laugh with the sinners? Do you “cry with the saints?” Or are you a Pharisee that points out the sinners and sins of the world? Do you eat with the Pharisees in your life?
I’m going to make a more concerted effort to be Christ-like by loving the sinners and eating with (and forgiving) the Pharisees. If Jesus could eat in the home of his critics and condemners, I can learn to be more tolerant, forgiving, and accepting as well.

*I respectfully exclude the Garden of Gethsemane, which was a very different cry and prayer.

Monday, December 08, 2014

Roller Coaster Emotions


It was a roller coaster of a day - again.
There was good news and there was bad news and then there was more good news. Followed by, you guessed it, more bad news.
It's hard to not feel emotionally unstable when your day is whipped back and forth like that.
Ultimately it was all just news I had to accept and roll with. Nothing I could do about the good or the bad but just take it.
It didn't help that I decided on Saturday afternoon to go off caffeine and sodas. That lasted pretty well for about 48 hours. But somewhere around the third round of bad (and annoying) news, I said to hell with it, and got a Dr Pepper, curly fries, and a big fat Reuben sandwich. So much for my juice cleanse. And let me make it clear, I do not regret my choices. As BFF Juli put it, we should just all be glad I wasn't knocking over a liquor store right about that point.
That many emotions forced on a girl in one day is just not healthy!
There are many great things going on around me (friends getting dream jobs, friends getting married). I am so happy for these blessed events. But it makes the downhill slide of these roller coaster days that much farther to fall. Because on the other end of the ride, unemployment sucks, loneliness sucks, and friends dying really sucks.
Some days it feels like so much is happening around me that I'm forgetting about really huge events. (For instance, a baby being born! There was so much going on that I completely forgot a friend had a baby. And I really was truly happy for my friend and the baby.) I feel like I need to start making lists to remind myself of all the things going on around me so I don't let important things slip by. Because believe me, if I can forget a baby being born, I can forget much bigger things too.
I'm so grateful for my many blessings, and for all the highs on this roller coaster of life right now. It's much harder to be grateful for the lows. And I'm trying to be grateful for the highs that offset the lows. Or at least, I'm trying to see it that way.
But I really wouldn't mind it if there was just a nice long series of highs for a while. That would be very welcome right about now. 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

I love to cook


I'm making dinner for a small group of friends this weekend. I can't wait. I need the creative outlet just as much as I need to socialize.
My life is consumed these days with the planning of the midsingles conference. (58 days and counting!) As I get more and more involved in the details of it all, I find that I need to awaken the creative side of my brain as well. I need to start thinking about the fun, decorative touches to add to the conference. And that side of my brain is stagnating.
But that's why I love cooking. It brings it all to life- socializing, feeding, eating, loving, touching, tasting, and creating.
My friends (unless they read this, and I don't expect that they will) have no idea what they are in for. I'm pulling out all the stops- 4 course meal, tablescapes, the whole kit and caboodle. I'm making homemade Italian bread, shopska salad (because it's cheap, easy, tasty, and I miss Europe), homemade spaghetti and pasta, and something fun for dessert. Haven't decided what dessert will be. Probably something light and fruity. And I'm making basil lemonade.
Nearly every ingredient will come from my garden, which makes me very happy. (And my pocketbook happy.)
Since I know they won't read this, I'll share this detail too. One couple is being set up. The guy knows, the girl does not. I believe in not telling both parties, so that they aren't both anxious and nervous. He isn't behind it. He doesn't even know her name. Of course, he also hasn't accepted the invitation yet, so there's that. I'm keeping the numbers 4 girls, 4 guys. Only problem is I'm one guy short. Presumably the one that would be my date. That's a problem. Gotta work on that.
Also need to figure out where to buy Serbian soft cheeses. And clean my couch.
And maybe decorate the living room.
But first, I have to finish getting over bronchitis and this migraine. Which, I might add, do not go well together. (Coughing + migraine = misery!)

Friday, July 25, 2014

Romanian Food- a meal 13 years in the making!



13 years ago I volunteered and worked in Romania for a month. I stayed in a tiny little town called Lupeni. (It doesn't make many maps it's so small.) What I was doing there is a story for another post and time. Today we're going to talk about food, specifically my love of Romanian food.
Back in Lupeni I discovered two dishes- sarmale and papanoci. (sar-maul-eh and poppa-nosh). These were my two most favorite foods, and I ate them every chance I got in Romania. My "bunica" made them for us. Bunica means grandma, old lady, or babushka. Everyone has a bunica.
It's been 13 years since I had good sarmale and papanoci. I've tried many times to make them on my own, but it's never been as good as Bunica made it.
So you better believe I was looking forward to having it again when I got back to Romania!
In our first town, Baile Herculane, one of the first things I did was ask our hotel if they would be serving us either dish. They were impressed I knew Romanian food, and said they would try, but it never happened. Hotel Afrodita did serve us some awesome food, but it was mostly just nice hotel food, but nothing truly amazingly Romanian.

It's hard to be disappointed in really awesome food, so I wasn't too sad about the lack of authentic dishes.


Not to mention, I accidentally got the restaurant to serve us free Cokes for a few meals before the hotel caught on and made us pay for them. (How does this happen? Easy. I went up to the restaurant bar, and asked for a Coke Zero. Which reminds me, did you know Coca-Cola Light (which is served instead of Diet Coke in most other countries) has been replaced by Coke Zero? This was new to me. I quickly adapted to it. Turns out I like it. Who knew?) I tried to pay for it. The bartender didn't speak much English. And by that I mean, he was very pretty to look at, but spoke absolutely no English at all. This has a lot to do with why I re-learned how to count and all my numbers in Romanian. Bet ya didn't know I know a good 20 words in Romanian. It's a pretty easy language to learn if you know any of the other Romance languages, especially French. But I digress. So the bartender said since our meals were covered, my Coke Zero was too. At least, that's what I gleaned from our miming. I did this for 2 meals before other people caught on and started to get free drinks too. That lasted another 2 meals with 30 people getting free drinks before the hotel caught on. After that we had to pay for our drinks. A 1-liter Coke Zero was roughly 50 cents, so not exactly a hardship, you know?)

We were in Herculane for 5 days, and then moved on to the town of Timisoara. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I LOVE Timisoara. It's a beautiful, charming town. We stayed in a nice little hotel right off the town square. We ate breakfast in the hotel restaurant (which was very small), but our other meals were provided by the festival. We ate at a small school a few blocks away with the other performers. The food was... pretty typical cafeteria food. Just cafeteria food with a Romanian twist to it. In other words, a hunk of bread, gassy water, meat, with a side of meat. And sometimes a dish of pickled cabbage.

It was perfectly good food. But I wanted food like Bunica made it!

And what was I supposed to do with a beautiful, charming town square with a dozen restaurants just feet away from my hotel? Closer to me than the school? And I hadn't spent more than $3 a day in over a week! With plenty of Romanian lei in my pocket, and in a town that actually takes credit cards, I went off in search of sarmale and papanoci.

I tried looking at the window menus of three different places with no luck. After going on a big walking tour of the city with the whole group-
- I decided to try one more place. I walked right into one of the nicest restaurants in town, and asked if they served either dish. They said yes, they served papanoci, but no to the sarmale. But then the manager (quite fluent in English) asked how I knew about sarmale. I explained "My bunica used to make it for me." He stopped and looked at me funny. "You know bunica?" I said yes, and she used to make the best Romanian food for me. (I took his question to be more surprise that I knew the word bunica, than anything else.) He stared at me again. "Then I will make for you sarmale like bunica." He had me bring a group of friends back with me an hour later.
Sarmale isn't on their menu. And he did have me put a deposit down on the meal, which I felt was completely fair under the circumstances.
So one hour later, I rounded up a few Clog Americans, and we ate at one of the best tables in the restaurant.
So what is sarmale? Other than a little piece of heaven in your mouth? It's boiled cabbage, wrapped around a rice and sausage mixture. It has some lemon, dill, and vinegar going on in it too. You have to like lemon and dill to love it. And oh, do I love it. 13 years of waiting for sarmale, and it didn't disappoint!
But then came the papanoci!
Papanoci is basically a big, fluffy donut, not unlike Krispy Kreme, with the donut hole on top. The center is then filled with cream and either fruit compote or hot fudge. And then more cream and fruit over top of the whole thing.
It's rich, it's heavy, and oh is it good!!!!
I can promise you not one tiny bit was left on our plates.
I even went back the next day with some other friends from our group to get the papanoci again.
I admit I was a bit nervous to take a group of soon-to-be-friends that I barely knew to try a food I feared I had over-hyped. But I'm happy to report that no one seemed to think I oversold it. They all loved it. In fact, word got around to several people in our group about our foodie excursion, and more than one group of people went in search of it the next day.
It was a meal 13 years in the making. And totally worth it! 

Saturday, June 01, 2013

Back to Life, Back to Reality

I am home from vacation.
I don't want to be, but apparently you can't stay gone forever, no matter how hard you try.
This was my first non-working vacation in... so many year I can't remember the number. Sad, but true. I've always worked on vacation. This was my first time to ever attempt to not work. I have to admit, it's a pretty nice gig this whole vacationing thing. I'm going to have to try it again sometime. It only took me about 5 days to really get the hang of not working or being on an agenda. I liked it!
It was a wonderful week away. I made several great new friends that I really hope to be able to see again soon. The hardest part really was coming home and knowing that it may be another 6 months or a year before I get to socialize and make friends again. And that really depresses me!
I re-calibrated my priorities and ideals while I was gone as well. I had a few small wake-up calls that really helped put a few things into focus. It was a very good and healthy week for me.

Friday, April 05, 2013

A Single Mormon Woman Reflects on Women Holding the Priesthood


Dear Friend,

Yesterday you asked about women in the Mormon Church holding the priesthood. I fired off some fast and too easy “internet responses.” I want you to know that your questions and comments were not ignored. In fact, I’ve thought about them quite a bit. I hope you'll forgive me my thoughtless responses yesterday, and accept my much more in-depth and thought out response below.

You raised important issues- why can’t women hold the priesthood? Why do men run the meetings? Why can’t women?

I’ve given this topic (and others I am about to address) a lot of thought over the years. My response today is not just the culmination of 24 hours of ruminating on current politics, but my cherished, deep-rooted beliefs, and understanding of the Gospel of Christ.

One of the key details that sets Mormons apart from other religions is found in a small verse in the Book of Mormon. As you know, we believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God, another testament of Jesus Christ. Many other religions scorn us because of this book. But anyone who has actually read it will know that there is nothing in there that conflicts or contests the Bible. Many of the commandments and scriptures are nearly identical to what is found in the Bible.

But there is one small verse or scripture that truly sets us apart. Mosiah 3:19 reads, “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

In my eyes, nearly every commandment given in scripture is a directive, suggestion, or instruction on how to overcome the natural man or our natural instincts. For instance, the Ten Commandments include no coveting, no stealing, no murder, obey your parents, put God first. We are taught from infancy not to murder or steal (hopefully). Why are we taught these things? Because it is natural to do them.

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Reflections on life-changing moments


There is a funny little misperception out there that I talk about people on this blog. I've had acquaintances or even close friends tell me, "I better not show up on your blog."
Go back and try to find even one post where I talked about someone (in the negative or even a unfair or humorous way) without their permission. You won't find one. I've never done that and I never will.
I want to make that clear before I continue. I would never speak ill of another person on my blog, especially if it gave away identifying information.
There have been key, life-changing moments in the past ten years that I did not share here because I did not want to say anything that may be construed as negative about another person.
Over the next few days, weeks, maybe months, I have decided to start sharing some of those key moments. This blog is, after all, nothing much more than my personal diary, and the parts of my life I have chosen to share. There has now been enough time and space between the original events and now that I feel I can share those experiences without hurting feelings, causing any drama, or even inadvertently "outing" another person's identity.
I chose in the past not to share these experiences as they happened because I knew other people might be able to put vague references and puzzle pieces together to identify the players. There are some past events that were hard and awful to go through, and my side of the story was never shared. But I am ready to do so now. This first experience is the only one where I think the person in question will be identifiable. I have not taken more pains to hide her identity because she has passed away.

Many moons ago I had a wonderful friend. She was, even at her best, a fair-weather friend. Some days we were thick as thieves, the next, she couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone.  Her hot-cold attitude drove me crazy. And if everything we did was not about her, she was going to make me miserable for "forcing" her to do something else.


When she and I first met I was immediately turned off by her snotty, snobby, superior attitude. She had once read the expression, "turned up her nose," in a book. She took it literally. I have very clear memories of her literally "turning up her nose," and walking around with her head tipped back, her chin sticking out, and her nose pointed to the ceiling. She would purse her lips and walk with her hands clasped at her chest when she did it. It was comical. She would tell me eventually that she was "being haughty." We were only about 15 I think and I didn't know what "haughty" meant- at least not the way she pronounced it- "hofty." I had to ask her to clarify it for me, and she laughed and laughed in one of the most snobby, condescending tones I have ever heard. (And it was a laugh I would hear often over our friendship.)

I remember that moment exactly- her high-pitched, fake, laugh. We were in her bedroom. She was an only child (sort of- there were half and step-siblings who did not live there), and somehow had connived her way into the master bedroom. Her parents slept in a different room. She had a queen-sized canopy bed and a chaise lounge. She loved to tell me to sit on the "chayzzzzzz." I didn't mind doing so. It was comfortable.
Even after her definition of "hofty" I was still confused. How had I never heard of this word before and she had? She was behind me in school and English was my one good subject. I noticed a dictionary on her desk and picked it up. I asked her to spell "hofty." She condescended and spelled it out slowly, letter by letter. By the time she finished spelling it out, I knew the word and the meaning. I didn't need the dictionary. But before I could put it down, she snatched it from me, intending to mock my stupidity further.
I tried to correct her- not to put her down and make myself out to be the smarter one, but because if you are going to walk around with your nose turned up "haughtily," and tell people so, you better know how to pronounce it.
She was so mad that I would dare correct her (which I only barely did), that she threw the dictionary (a big, blue, hardback) across the room and broke something.
It was the only time I have ever seen someone do that in real life. Sure, I have seen it on television or movies plenty of times. It sounds and looks dramatic. I have no doubt it was a move she had learned in a book or a movie. I remember thinking at the time that she had no idea how to be authentic. Everything she did was calculated, rehearsed, and gleaned from pop culture. I wondered how long it would be before she would act normally with me.
After the book throwing incident I went home. I told my parents I didn't want to go back. They had set me up with her in a way and encouraged me to try again. She had had a rough life and needed some friends (she was new in town).


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Send Erica Under the Sea

Erica is the niece of my good friend, Misty, who has helped me and supported me dozens of times over the years. I am repaying her that kindness and helping to spread the word about Erica's project and scholarship efforts!





Thanks for taking the time to consider contributing to my cause. Please allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Erica. I am a junior at Miamisburg High School. I have a passion for marine biology. In addition, I enjoy working with high-risk youth. I am having difficulty deciding which field I should study in college.
I am currently taking a class called Environmental Resource Management Technology. This class will help me earn 13 college credits while I'm still in high school. At the end of the summer, the class will be taking a trip to Florida so we can become certified in SCUBA diving and work on a research project before and during the trip. In addition to this, we will be working with conservationists to plant coral.
If I am able to raise the funds to take this trip, I will be able to pursue marine biology in college, start off my "official" college career ahead of the game, and receive a $3,000 scholarship.

What I Need & What You Get
What the funds raised will go for:
The first $600 – This is the exact cost of the trip, per Miamisburg High School.
The other $150 – to cover any fees which will be incurred through Indiegogo.
If I don’t reach my funding goal, the money you have so generously donated will go to offsetting the cost for me and my family.

The Impact
In my current financial situation, my mom and I will never be able to afford this trip ourselves. Throughout my life and school career, I have had to pass up many opportunities to go places and do things because my family simply couldn’t afford the additional cost. This trip isn’t just sending me to Florida for a week; this trip is the pathway to a solid career. This is a chance for me to gain experience and knowledge I wouldn’t be able to get any other way. Your investment is more than just helping me SCBUA dive or see the Atlantic Ocean. It would be an investment in my future.

Other Ways You Can Help
If you don’t have the ability to give money to my cause, I would ask for you to post this on your Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. Any exposure I could gain, I would appreciate.

http://igg.me/p/276150

Monday, October 22, 2012

Not too shabby!

Standing on top of my family's mountain looking down on Salem, VA
I had a great weekend! I hope everyone had a great weekend! It was beautiful autumn weather, and the leaves were at their color peak. And I had 8 wonderful friends (well, 7 friends, 1 cousin) in town to visit!
Can you believe it? People actually came to the boondocks to visit me!
We went on some short walks and hikes, ate tons of food, and talked and talked and just had a lovely time! (And I took the above picture of our valley.)
In a conversation with my friend (mostly DC-based singles, but not all) I had an epiphany. All those job interviews I am getting? Probably not a result of my awesomeness. (Well, maybe just a little!) It is probably more likely that there are a lot of job openings and hirings happening right now due to the federal fiscal year just beginning. Companies and agencies (particularly in the DC area that are usually on the federal fiscal year) have new budgets and funds to work with, and therefore are hiring right now. I'm glad I realized this because it also means that I shouldn't expect this surge of jobs and interviews to last for long. In fact, it is safe to assume that if I don't land a job by Christmas, it may not happen at all. The fiscal quarter will change over, and the "fiscal cliff" will hit. And quite frankly, if that "fiscal cliff" hits, chances are slim to none of getting a job for a VERY long time.
So the pressure is on to get out there and get a full-time job! (Preferably in digital marketing in the Washington, DC area, but I'm open to other cities as well.)
In completely unrelated news, my October book sales are lower than I like! So! for the rest of the month I have lowered the prices!
"You Heard It Here First" is on Kindle and Nook for $2.99! And "The Agency" is on Kindle for $1.99! And paperbacks of "You Heard It Here First" are available on Amazon for $7.99 (I'm the seller, so you can trust it!)

Monday, July 30, 2012

Big in Japan (Book Giveaway!)


My friend and awesome author Jennifer Griffith has written another book! And lucky me, I got to be one of the advance reviewers for it, AND I get to give away a free copy!!

At home in Texas, Buck Cooper is considered obese and too big to be taken seriously. But a last minute trip to Japan with his parents changes everything. One minute he's the foreigner who stands out like a (tall) sore thumb, the next he's discovering his true potential in the elusive world of sumo.
Big in Japan is big on laughs, landscapes, and love. The main character is enjoyable and relatable and makes you wish you could give him a big teddy bear hug. Whether or not obesity and sumo are in the reader's future, the main character's struggle with his self-image, self-loathing, and personal courage, will strike a familiar chord.
Author Jennifer Griffith grew up in Idaho and learned to speak Japanese while she lived in Japan for a year and a half during college. She earned a degree in writing and has worked for the U.S. Congress. She writes a column for her local newspaper and blogs about writing and candy. At 5’1″ Griffith is far too short to ever consider sumo wrestling. Big in Japan is her fourth novel, and her first with Jolly Fish Press.
To be entered in the giveaway, just leave your name in the comments. (Buck Cooper would appreciate that I'm not making you do anything fancy like leave your sumo name, or imaginary Olympic sport you would totally dominate, in order to be entered. He's a down to earth kind of guy. Just your name will do!)  I'll give it till Sunday, and pick the winner via random.org then!

(Or you can just buy your own copy from Barnes and Noble or Amazon!)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Doin' Things You Can't Do in a Car!



I believe the first time I ever started talking about Due West here on this blog was back in 2007! (Here's the post: Dilemma.) Back then I was excited to go see them perform at a small venue in Sandy, Utah where they were opening for a little known act- a teenage girl named Taylor Swift, that I was not impressed with.  I mentioned in that post how I was pretty sure I was one of their very few fans- nobody had ever heard of them. They didn't have an album or a single out either.
Now, just five years later, and at least 39 mentions of them on this blog later, they are on the front page for country music on iTunes today!!! Their latest single, "Things You Can't Do In A Car," hit radio yesterday, and is available to buy today.
Without any doubts or reservations, I can say that I know every single last one of their published songs inside and out. And like I said, I've been a fan since the very beginning. I even know some of their songs that never did get released. And I can also honestly say, this is probably my favorite song they have published and released yet. (In the unpublished category, I am a huge fan of Paparazzi and End of the Road (or as Matt puts it, a song about getting it on in the broad daylight).)
If you want to hear a fun, catchy, clever, country tune, go download "Things You Can't Do in a Car." I think you'll like it!

Thursday, April 05, 2012

So Long My Friend


A friend of mine passed away today.
I'm not really sure where to begin. My heart and head are full of so many emotions right now. I feel like a terrible friend. I didn't know she was even sick. I hadn't paid enough attention to her Facebook posts in a long time. I only found out she was sick a few hours before she passed away because of someone else's Facebook status.
When I had originally logged in to Facebook it was to post a whiny rant about a medical issue I have been dealing with. I'm sick and tired of my situation, and am ready to go public with it, in hopes that maybe someone out there will have some clues or leads for me. But just as I was about to post it I saw my other friend's status about our ailing mutual friend. I never did post my own status and immediately began to think about my sick friend.
Learning how sick she was suddenly put my own problems into perspective. (her liver was very sick, and she did not qualify for a transplant. She thought she had up to 2 years to live, but within days of the diagnosis she took a turn for the worst. She went into the hospital on Monday, and passed away on Wednesday.)
Yes, I have a significant medical problem. Yes, I still need to see a specialist. But no matter how bad we think we have it, there is someone else out there who will have it worse. Tonight my heart goes out to the teenage daughter she left behind, and all the friends that will miss her. I can think of dozens of times she was a listening ear and confidante for me. And I can think of dozens of times I wasn't a good enough friend for her.
But I also have dozens of happy memories tucked in my heart I can pull out and remember tonight. I had a conversation with her in my heart tonight. I want to make it to her funeral very much. I owe her that. She was a very social person, and I know how much it would mean to her to have tons of friends at her funeral. And I want to think that when she looks down from Heaven on her funeral that she will see a room full of love all for her. I don't have details yet on when or where the service will be. But I do know that if it is very soon I will have difficulty making the arrangements to travel with my family visiting, finances, etc. And I had that conversation with her in my heart, and I could loudly hear what she would say to me about what my priorities should be. And I could hear her loudly telling me to stop being stupid and get my medical situation checked up on, and to stop wasting my time.
She was always a great cheerleader for me. The kind of friend that even when I wasn't the best kind of friend to her, she remained loyal and loving to me.
So long my dear sweet Serena. I will miss you. And I will see you again. But until then I will find it in my heart to be grateful that you have escaped the limitations of your mortal body. And I promise to help make sure your children are okay. I know you would do the same for me.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Making Roanoke Home


After 18 months or so of living in Roanoke, it may be time to start calling it home and making it my home. It seems like ever since I got here the plan has been to leave as soon as the right opportunity presented itself. But now that things have changed (again) and I am mostly employed, there are no plans to leave. It feels strange to say, but I just might stay here.
I never expected to like it here. I grew up visiting Roanoke frequently as a kid. We lived four hours away but came every few months or so to visit family. I always thought of Roanoke as a pain to visit, slightly redneck, and a little too small town for me. I still do think of it as redneck and a little small town. But I've actually started to like it as I have adjusted myself to living here. It also helps to finally have some semblance of stability and independence. I'm still mooching off my parents and living in their house (they aren't living here though). I'd like to be able to buy or rent my own place again before much longer. I miss "my stuff," that continues to sit in storage in another state. And I'd like to have my own real space again, but for now this is a good arrangement.
I no longer expect to find what I want at the mall. I rarely find a reason to visit the mall. I'm not sure if it is because the mall(s) are so unimpressive or if I'm just too poor to buy anything. Probably a good mix of both. I now expect that the ethnic food options will be limited, and am pleasantly surprised when I find something good. Same goes for most culture around here. I'm passing out of my expectations where I always want everything to be as diverse and useful as the DC area. I've changed my expectations to a more appropriate level, and it is no longer a negative thing, or an annoyance for me.
I have a great relationship with some of my younger cousins, and second cousins, I never would have expected to have. This has probably been the highlight of living here. I swap music with one my high school aged cousins, which is just fun. And some of the younger girl cousins just think of me as a friend, and not like some big, older, strange person they don't relate to. I love it when they ask me to help them with something, or for rides, or just to hang out. I don't know that it will ever feel normal or natural to go to a church congregation where everyone is related, but it does feel less bizarre to me now.
Last night the missionaries came to Mutual (youth group) and challenged the kids to all bring a non-Mormon friend to our activity next week. We have a boys vs girls challenge to see which group can bring more friends. Before they challenged the kids they pulled me aside and first asked if that was okay (because I'm in charge of the activity, and they needed to make sure I could handle it). And then asked if I would set the example and bring a friend as well. (Nicely played, Elders. Nicely played.) I would have loved to have accepted the challenge. But I had to say no. I honesty and truly don't have one friend in Roanoke that isn't a family member or church member. (And all family members are also church members.) This disappointed me for several reasons. Not just because of the challenge, but because it is the only drawback to my current lifestyle. I work alone from home, and my only social interactions are at church or with my cousins. I really don't know anyone else, unless you count the nice lady at the gas station.
Now that I have more or less "committed" to living here for a long time, it is time for that to change. This has everything to do with why I don't date here- I don't have a way of meeting people. But this isn't just about dating. It is also about wanting to just have friends that aren't genetically required to be polite to you, and that aren't 12 years old. So I have been thinking about how and where to make friends. Where do you go? How do you make friends?
The thought has crossed my mind to get involved in the community more, but I'm not sure how or where yet. I'm giving serious thought to joining, or at least supporting, Big Brothers Big Sisters again. (But that won't get me many friends that aren't 12 years old.) Anyone have any suggestions? Outside of church groups and work where do you go to make friends?

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Cries of Pain



I feel like a pretty crappy human being today. Someone yelled at me and insulted me pretty good this morning. I didn't do a good enough job on something I had worked hard on. I haven't finished all of my 'must-do' items in several days. There's a project I've been working on for charity sitting in the corner that hasn't been touched in weeks. I feel like I'm not doing enough to serve others lately. My butt is gigantic and was shown on TV last night, making me feel really insecure about my body image. Someone ever so impolitely let me know that it isn't the dress that is making me look fat- words that hurt considering I've been dieting diligently for two months now. I talk too much. I'm opinionated. And I haven't achieved any major life goals in a while. In other words, today I feel like I suck.

But today things were also put into perspective for me. I learned about two horrible and sad things happening to friends. Both are facing horrible circumstances that are just too much to talk about here (without their permission). My heart is breaking for them in more ways than I thought it could. I may feel like my life sucks, but then what are my problems compared to theirs? And while I have heard them cry in pain, I have not heard them cry in complaint. And those are two very different things.

One of the insults I received today came from someone who misunderstood me. I had "cried in pain" to this person, who took it as a "cry in complaint." Whether I did not make that clear, or the other person was indifferent to my plight, I do not know. This morning one of the two friends said something online that I perceived to be a "cry in complaint." (Or a cry for attention.) I was annoyed and ignored it. (As compared to some people, I don't take it upon me to correct others in these situations.) But by the end of the day I had learned the rest of the situation and felt terrible for my earlier thoughts. This person was truly crying in pain, and needs love and attention.

I can't help but wonder how many people are crying in pain, but we choose to ignore it? And how many people are afraid to ask for help or cry in pain because they are dismissed as complaints? How often am I ignoring real cries of pain because I can't hear them amidst all of the complaints?

Tonight I will pray harder for my friends. I'll pick up my charity work and make it a priority to finish it. And tomorrow, I'll listen better for the cries of pain.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Strong is the only choice you have





I was about to sit down and write about depression and frustrations- something I am all too familiar with right now. I went over to Pinterest (yes, I am addicted) to find a picture or quote about frustrations and depression, and saw this one instead. And there was my answer.
Today, instead of giving in to tears, frustration, anger, and depression like I so very badly want to, I will be strong. Because the other options aren't going to solve my problems now are they?
Today I will focus on writing, applying for jobs, and looking for answers. And then tonight I will crank up some music and have my own little dance party. You can come join me if you want to. The cost of admission is a hug and some chocolate. Please bring copious amounts of both!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Utah Trip Recap

My big trip to Utah was everything I was hoping for! 10 days is a long time to travel, but I'm glad I did it! It is always interesting to return to Utah after being gone for a while. You start to notice all the little idiosyncrasies of the state again, like the use of "way" instead of "more" or "very." ("It was way hot in there!") Or just how many women where tank tops or t-shirts over top a long sleeved shirt. (Now that I've watched every episode of "Sister Wives" I also wonder how many women wearing tank tops on the top are polygamists.) I loved the prolific number of Mavericks and Top Stops everywhere and "way cheap" large drinks. I also greatly appreciated that gas is about 15 cents a gallon cheaper in Utah than it is in Virginia.

Each day of the trip was pretty much the same as the one before it- in a very good way! I would hang out with BFF Jules in the morning, then go meet someone for a really long lunch, then go visit another friend for a really long dinner! My whole vacation was food and conversation! And really, does it get better than that?

Here's a few pictures of just some of the friends I met up with-


This is one of my best friends from high school, Karen, and her daughter Rylee. Karen and I hadn't seen each other in... 20 years?! But we talked just like we said goodbye yesterday, and were stealing each other's school cafeteria fries. Her daughter Rylee is undergoing cancer treatments at Primary Children's Hospital. If you are in Utah you can check out Rylee's television debut this month as part of a PCH ad campaign. You can also check out Rylee's mad dance skills here-




I also got the chance to meet up with the amazing Lindsey of The R House fame. She's not only a world-famous blogger, but a good friend from high school as well. (Lindsey- please forgive me for posting the picture.)

Lindsey and I met up with several other bloggers for a bloggy lunch date. Thank you to Topsy Turvy, HollyWillNot, Jenndola, CrapIveMade, CSPokey, Ryles, and Lauren for a truly unique experience! (If I left anyone out I swear it wasn't intentional!)

Mother's Day would not have been complete without lunch with my little brother. Gotta love the trucker hat, African soccer jersey, 4 days worth of beard, all talking on my pink cell phone-


There were many other lunches and visits with friends, but somehow I didn't get pictures of all of them! I noticed with each friend I would forget I was just visiting and hadn't seen my friend in forever. I even forgot to hug and say goodbye to Heidi because everything felt so normal and natural. What do you mean I hadn't been to visit in over a year?

Each visit was wonderful and a great experience. Thank you to everyone who took the time to meet up with me for a few hours!!

One of the absolute highlights of my trip was a barbecue held by my old neighbors for me! Thank you to Becky, Liz, and Janelle for making me remember so many wonderful times. I absolutely loved getting to hang out with the ladies, their husbands, and their adorable children again. We've all experienced a lot of highs and lows in the past year. There was something very cathartic about being back together with them and seeing that we've all made it through in one piece! And getting a countless number of hugs from these cute kids was worth the whole trip out there-



There aren't many times in your life where you can "go back" to what you once had. I'm in an interesting situation right now where I could make a few changes and go back to my old life. I could live on the same street, have the same friends and neighbors, do very similar work, and just pick up where I left off. It is more tempting to do than words can say! Who wouldn't want to go back to so many happy memories? But in doing so, I would be giving up my Peace Corps dream, among other things. Waiting to see what the next few weeks or months might bring in my life is going to be the ultimate test of faith and patience!

Thank you again to all of my friends, particularly my hosts the Caldwell family, for the great trip!!

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